The Review Digest

And here we are, my friends

2009-09-23T12:14:00.000-04:00

Monday, June 18, 2007. I never thought that a day like that would be the beginning of something like this. More than 2 years ago I started this blog, and in those 2 years I never could see it becoming what it has.

I don't know how many times I've told people the story of how the blog started, but I'm telling it now at least one last time. In 2007, around June or so, there was a big announcement supposed to be made for Super Smash Bros. Brawl on their website. I stayed up all night hoping to see what it was and get some new information- and instead got nothing. Around this time, I was active on forums and specifically active on IGN. At some point in the night I had bleeped myself by saying sh!t. Apparently, they didn't like my use of the word "shit" even if it was bleeped and needed to be fully bleeped out. So they banned me and basically said if I wanted back in, I would have to email and ask nicely. To me, that felt like begging to be let into a community. I didn't want to follow their bullshit rules that limited my free speech. I wanted to be able to say "shit" because that's what it was- shit. So soon after, with no outlet to voice my opinion, I decided I would make me own outlet.

My original plan was to simply talk about video games and let it be my outlet for them, but I hit a snag: all the good names were taken. For some odd reason I was able to get one I wanted- The Gaming Catologue - but it refused to show up that I had gotten it. After many tries, I finally came up with The Review Digest and was able to snag the name. It flowed well, it worked, but I realized that with the name came more responsibility.

The summer of 2007 was dedicated mainly to editorials about video gaming. As my second year of college began, I started doing more. I wasn't on the college newspaper, because they didn't want me (as a commuting student, they literally shunned me away and didn't respond to my emails). And I had loved that outlet in high school, a year of missing it made me want to get a crew. I enlisted my cousin, TC, to write some reviews on movies and continued my editorials as well as trying to do better than other sites did on release dates.

Clav and me had become close friends in Nov. 07. I learned he had a background in journalism, and decided to enlist him. For months he did nothing, but that faithful day in November changed everything. We were smartasses by nature- why not be smartasses online? We made Jolly Jolly Jinglebeans and soon after formed MuCC Productions and began work on Jenga.

But that faithful day, the Daily Wrap Up was born. It was a simple name, but it worked so well that in December of that year we even did a top wrap up picks- only 2 months in. We were hooked.

We continued on with our articles, our Daily Wrap Ups. They were fun, they were our hobby. We did a few podcasts, enlisted some more people. Baritone became interested when he found out about Jenga, and Dos after we invited him to a podcast. As my plate was beginning to have more on it, and knowing they were well versed in video games- the torch was passed.

And we continued to do our podcasts, our stories. We continued to get better. But summers killed us. Our first summer saw our audience decrease by incredible numbers. Our second, which just finished, has probably killed off anyone still reading these.

But we continued. We enlisted more and more people, created a schedule, tried to keep people to it. But many of us were busy. We would forget. And though we loved doing it, we just didn't have the time anymore.

I had to make a choice. No one was writing. I was the head editor and Clav and Dos were my right and left hand men. I came to them this past summer, and told them I would retire. We had so many ideas for shorts, for our band, that we never went after and I wanted to head that. I told them they could go on without me though, but in the end we came to the conclusion that though we all loved The Review Digest it was time to let it go.

When I announced it, there weren't many in the room for the meeting. Helmet, Sketch, Bunny, Old Gregg and my left and right men sat in a semi-circle as we broke the news. I think Sketch was about to cry when I told him, as Old Gregg made his "yeah, I saw this coming" noises. They didn't want to give up what they were so used to doing. They loved it just as much as we did.

What started out as my blog, had become our blog. Our community of friends even from time to time suggested things to do. Baritone hated leaving and wanted to come back when he had something to say. It was our outlet in the difficult road of college. It was my baby I had shared with everyone. A part of me wishes I could keep it open for myself, in case I ever feel a need to write. But that would be selfish of me. It's time to let The Review Digest go.

But with every end, comes a new beginning. We aren't going to stop working with each other. MuCC Productions is not dead (though, Jenga is). We are simply closing down a section that we can no longer control. This was our baby, and now 2 years later- a remarkable feat by a blog's standards to be alive for so long and with so few readers- we're putting our baby on that bus to a boarding school to never see it the way it was as it left ever again.

So what do I say to end 2 years of writing? 2 years of blood and sweat and sacrifice we gave because we loved what we did. We loved every minute of it, even when it was stressful we loved it. There are no words to summarize how I feel right now ending this blog. There is nothing I can say to thank everyone for what they did. There is no price tag on the memories I will always hold in my heart from this blog.

I will always remember Clav complaining about having to update, even though I know he loved it. He once said to me he would write for The Review Digest for as long as he lived.

I will always remember having Dos ask me what to write about in video game news and helping him with ideas- and telling him that he had earned his place as third in charge and he could do whatever he wanted.

I will always remember Baritone's half-assed and reluctant responses when he worked with Dos, but always wanting to write after he left. And I'll never forget the surprise party we threw him as a goodbye.

I will always remember Helmet's random ass story about how much he was thankful for the readers of this blog and why it was great, because he had a test the next day and didn't want to miss another update.

I will always remember Bunny's first article and how I told her how to improve it, and how she did so well in doing so.

I will always remember Old Gregg's reluctance to write sports and claiming no one read it, when it was the most commented posts we had.

I will always remember Sketch getting his British accent on the podcast and becoming the evil scientist- despite originally just being the tech news.

I will always remember how our music writers (TC, Money, Okeana) always seemed to write one music article and then disappear.

I will always remember how we had CNN link to us because we linked to them.

I will always remember 79 times, dog deaths, and pancakes (again).

I will never forget this blog. I will never forget any readers, any writers, anyone that made this place special not just to me but to everyone involved. Thank you all. From my entire heart, and the tears I shed to write this- thank you all.

Goodbye, and good night.

Your Final Daily Wrap Up: Remember the RD!

2009-09-22T10:22:00.013-04:00

I'll say my last words tomorrow to anyone still reading. What I can't believe is that we started doing these in 2007. 2 years later, we end it. So, one last time- on with the news:

Shia LaBeouf in new movie, as suit & tie on Wall Street

^{This video is called 'suck it Shia Labeouf' so I had to use it.}

Kirby: Man, you think you'd be seeing this guy in a suit and tie and next to Optimus Prime after he pissed in a supermarket? I mean, he's bounced back but...yeah, he's still a fuckin' douchebag.

Clav: A long time ago I wished for Michael Bay to CGI everything that Shia ever did. What I was really hoping was that he'd kill him.

ER's exec-producer, John Wells, elected president of Writer's Guild

Kirby: Congrats Mr. Wells. Hope things go well, and I mean that with all sincerity.

Clav: At least they won't be able to ruin the last season of Lost. Only JJ Abrams can do that.

Christina Auguilera's album is electro-pop, due to son

Kirby: Well, now we all know why Lady Gaga is popular.

Clav: Goldfrapp? M.I.A.? LADYTRON? Sign me up! I mean, uhh, fuck that Pop bullshit...

Oprah's film, Precious, wins at Toronto Int'l Film Festival

Kirby: Good thing she won, I heard Kanye was ready to burst onto stage if she didn't...what? You knew this was coming.

Clav: Oprah won something. Boy that's really surprising. Like, shock me some more, why don't you.

John Travolta in court for extortion trial in Bahamas, in link with son's death

Kirby: Ya know, I feel for you Mr. Travolta- I do. I feel bad for you. Because you're just so fuckin' stupid.

Clav: He spent the last year IN SECLUSION. At movie premieres.

Michael Jackson has movie based on concert practice coming to theaters worldwide at end of Oct.

Kirby: ...remember, I was the first to say Michael Jackson was alive still. And a movie about his final rehearsal practices? You know that's gotta be some bullshit there to make money!

Clav: I wish that all of the newspeople still talking about him would have equally simultaneous massive heart failure.

Miley Cyrus to give sneak peek of new video for 'Party in the USA' during 'Dancing with the Stars'

Kirby: Miley, in my last words to you on this blog I just want to let you know that this song is so horrible that every time it comes on I feel like I'm going to have a brain aneurysm and crash my car. On the other hand, I'm glad you figured out your voice sucks and started using auto-tune.

Clav: Shooing away the Hollywood only works so long Miley. You better worry more about how much longer you can shoo away the Syphilis.

Selena Gomez travels to Africa for UNICEF

Kirby: Oh Selena...you do so much good- why can't you just do good for me?

Clav: Selena, nobody's buying the act. Put the baby down and shut the hell up.

Kanye West becomes verb at Emmy Awards for rude behavior

^{Eh, it's political- sue me, we're closing this bitch down anyways.}

Kirby: Ya know- I'll give Clav the last joke...make it good. I'll try not to interrupt...

Clav: The only real silver lining of this whole situation is that Kanye's mom wasn't around to see it. Then again, she's probably in Heaven, one-titted and weeping.

By-Paths And Side Tracks

2009-09-21T22:51:00.002-04:00

It's been a long time since I was walking a long sidewalk to some middle-of-nowhere parking lot with Kirby when he goes "So... you wanna work on a blog with me? You like music right?" This six months before he'd try to censor my first (last) music article as I laid on my living room carpet near a lit Christmas tree, not long after seeing "I Am Legend" and whiling away my night defending an article that would soon be (and I suppose remain until the end) our most popular.

Who knew the words "Review" and "The Bedlam in Goliath" would trick Google into top-decking us on their returns for "Reviews of The Bedlam in Goliath." Suckers.

Down, up, and back down. No final speech is anything if it isn't honest. And honestly, The Review Digest has often been my biggest failure. But sometimes I had the little gem. The pre-review that didn't even mention the piece reviewed.

Through all of it, our dedication as a team was something that was always questionable. Truth is this was our hobbyist obsession. Nothing we seriously had the time for after our first year at it, just something we loved. Something I loved. The Daily Wrap Ups were our brainchild, were genius and funny. But they were time consuming. The movie reviews were hilarious, but took actually being able to see the films objectively (or at all). The podcasts were incredible, but hard to organize. The music reviews... well, censor me once... All jokes aside, this blog turned out to be so massive in scope that sustaining it took more life than all of us, in the midst of the turning points of our lives, knee deep in personal dramatic crises, could give.

I'm sorry.

But look back. The history of The Review Digest is a solid one. And it will bear the fruit of different paths. And I plan to leave it like I left every wrap response I ever gave: Don't talk about it, talk about something else. Use the strategy of referents. This is funny, so what else is funny?

And that's how I'll end us. The Review Digest was great. But what else will be great?

The future of what we're doing. Of what we'll do. We're breaking off, like shards of meteorite. Together we could break one shelter and kill all within. Reforming into something different, some scatter shot from hell, we'll bring death to more.

It's a morbid metaphor, but then again, what isn't?

At the end of the day, to our own blog instincts we're being true. Nobody reads what won't write. And we can't.

Therefore, my friends, I give you the complete works of The Review Digest. Enjoy. And one day, claim that it was really Francis Bacon who wrote it all.

Fuck. You're right.

-Clav

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, "HUGE SUCCESS."

2009-09-20T23:00:00.007-04:00

If there was anything that we learned from Portal, it was that the "Cake is a lie." One might have figured that for my last entry on this site, I would write something meaningful regarding comic books, especially due to all of the issues arising from Disney buying Marvel, the creation of DC Entertainment, and Jack Kirby's relatives wanting to reclaim rights to his characters. I could have ranted for hours on any of these topics, but that's not how I wanted to go out. In all honesty, I am terrible at saying "Good Bye," and I just wanted an excuse to show that particular clip. The ending credits to Portal were a welcome surprise to my summer gaming drought. I found myself in tears when GLaDOS was informing me that I was adopted, and that I had broken her heart. It is moments like these that seriously sell a game for me. It was on this same thought that I have collected my top three gaming moments throughout my long gaming career.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

3) Bioshock- "Would you kindly..."

One of the biggest "OH SHIT" moments I've ever had while playing a video game. Up until this point, I felt that I had been playing a game. It was only after the utterance of those three words that I realized the game had been playing me.

2) Metal Gear Solid 3 - Naked Snake Vs. The Boss

Arguably one of the most epic battles in gaming history. Both emotional, and action packed, this moment was the highlight of my summer. (Yes, I beat Metal Gear Solid 4 before I beat this game, sue me.) Anyone who isn't deeply affected by the outcome of this battle simply wasn't paying any attention.

1) Halo: Combat Evolved- Introduction of The Flood

Although this is not the most moving moment in gaming history, this was certainly the moment that I was first terrified by an enemy. I fondly remember firing my Assault Rifle in frightened circles at these mindless, flesh consuming creatures. It was in this moment that I truly grew to appreciate the gaming culture.

To give any of these moments a rank, would do them a serious disservice. In my mind each moment has equally influenced the standards that I use to assess all of the games in my library. Thank you for reading.

-Baritone

"Trust me, I'm still alive."

Gaming News Review 9/20/09

2009-09-20T22:17:00.010-04:00

Well, here we are at the final gaming news review. Don't look so down, Bioshock 2 is only 141 days from launch.

Iggy Pop on the Lego Rock Band Train

The musical stylings and a Lego representation of Iggy Pop will appear in the Lego: Rock Band game.

Dos: In case you haven't heard.

Kirby: It only matters if I can throw a LEGO beer bottle.

Square teases new game, Nier Replicant

Xbox 360 and PS3 owners will have their hands on it in 2010.

Dos: It's what you'd expect from Square but wait, it's not an RPG? or is it?

Kirby: It's RPG-lite. Think uh...Castlevania?

Guitar Hero 5 outsells Beatles: Rock Band

Activision says they're selling four Guitar hero 5's to 1 The Beatles: Rock Band's. On the flip side, "All you need is love" is the fastest selling DLC song ever.

Dos: Naturally.

Kirby: Did EA think otherwise? I mean, seriously, did they not look at the sales of the specific Guitar Hero games?

Nintendo finally drops the price

Word from the rumor mill says the Wii's price will be cut to one hundred, ninety nine American dollars on September 27th.

Dos: No word yet about a price drop the controllers, unfortunately.

Kirby: It may be worth more to buy a Wii for the controller soon...

Left 4 Dead 2 banned down under, Valve is reportedly bummed

Left 4 Dead 2 has been refused classification in Australia because it exceeds the MA 15+ rating for 'High Impact Violence'.

Dos: Crikey.

Kirby: Falsely killing zombies is a criminal offense down under, I hear.

Break out your N64s

The N64 shooter, GoldenEye has been in developer limbo but news has finally surfaced that it hasn't been "in the cards" for a long time.

Dos: So, GoldenEye was a lie?

Kirby: No dude- the cake was the lie. GoldenEye was just a pipe dream.

The best 8 bucks you'll ever spend.

Custom made menstrual pads are available for you to design and reuse to save the environment and look great doing it. This may or may not have to do with Pokemon.

Dos: I know this is Bunny's turf, but I couldn't help myself.

Kirby: It's just...so...disturbing, how could you not?

Video of the Week

You should have seen this coming.

Dos: Courtesy of our mutual friend, Baritone.

Kirby: Oh, Tone- you dog you.

Pocky anyone?

2009-09-18T11:00:00.000-04:00

Hello any dear readers that have stuck with us to the very end! Bunny here, moh ichido (one more time) to talk to you guys about what's up and up in the anime industry.

Kewpie receives own anime
Ever heard of Kewpie? I didn't think so, but apparently this cherub-like doll created by Rose O'Niell in 1909 has long been a household name in Japan; and for its 100th anniversary a 26 episode series is being made. Who would've thought a mayonnaise mascot could become so popular?

Rice field artwork storms Japan
That's right, rice farmers all over Japan are starting a new craze by planting different varieties of rice that produce different colors to create monstrous depictions of famous figures. Clicking on the link will take you to several pictures, including one of a field which depicts Napoleon (didn't expect that, now did you?). Here in this photo we have the historic manga character Doraemon at the top with deer dancers below him.

InuYasha finally dies
Before any rabid fangirls rip my face off, I don't mean literally. However, the InuYasha franchise is on the fast track to the animation of the story's final chapter. InuYasha: The Final Act will begin airing in Japan on October 3rd.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INUUUUUUUUUYASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Yu-Gi-Oh! sends the time paradox to the Shadow Realm
So, my final news update for you will be dedicated to ridiculous children card games. Yes, the 10th anniversary of Yu-Gi-Oh! is being celebrated with a 3D graphic animated feature film that will star all three main heroes from each of the story lines. You heard me, Yu-Gi-Oh!Duel Monsters' Yugi Mutou, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX's Jaden Yuki, and Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds' Yusei Fudo will come together in an epic battle against the villain Paradox come 2010. I sense a cruel irony here...

Well everyone, that's all from me for, well, forever I suppose. Thanks kicking it with TRD, and I hope you all have many wonderful weekends to come! Sayonara everyone!

Goodbye

2009-09-17T22:22:00.002-04:00

Hey all,
I don't have a lot to write about this week in the crappy sports world. I just thought I'd at least post and express thanks to our readers out there for keeping up with the blog. It was a good run and I hope everyone had fun. Enjoy the NFL season and keep on rooting.

Old Gregg

I still hate the Steelers.

Midnight Snack

2009-09-14T22:17:00.007-04:00

There are only two words to describe what happened with the dozen or so shows that hit your tv this summer: TV famine. On any given night you could have watched an EMT that read minds, a corporate CEO that gave up his fortune to the needy, an asteroid preparing to hit Earth(Christopher Loyd starring in "Meteor"), or a show about Merlin's childhood. You will never have to see these shows again.
That is good news, for any of you who moved on to watching Hulu instead.

News Flash!
Ellen Degeneres will judge American Idol.
The daytime tv comedian is now an official American Idol Judge, replacing Paula Abdul. The longtime American Idol judge quit five weeks ago after failing to get a pay raise above her already 8 figure salary.
Next move: Ellen quits being a judge to go back to daytime comedy. Idol's rating skyrocket.
Cell phone texts will be formatted to fit your tv.
Textsfromlastnight joins Fox as a new tv comedy about the lives of young adults. The popular website is now on your tv. ROFL.
Prediction: Cell Phone Popcorn makes better tv.

Oprah Winfrey joins satellite radio.
Apparently there's a lot of rumors about her retiring. My question:
Why didn't she retire after her first billion dollars?
The original cast from Seinfeld will reuinite.
I have never posted a Seinfeld moment on this blog. Here are two:

Dear Reader,
Thanks for reading and watching with us at TRD.
-Helmet

The Final Podcast

2009-09-13T23:09:00.002-04:00

OK guys. Tragically this is the last podcast we'll ever do. Further it might be as botched as possible. Our podcasting computer is on its dying breath and simply would not cooperate. So, attempt to enjoy it. We certainly enjoyed making it and bringing you podcasts over the last couple of years. Much love.

YOU ALL HAVE TO GO BACK PODCAST

It's Official: We're closing down

2009-09-12T11:08:00.002-04:00

Hello fans that probably have stopped coming here since Bunny posted that anime article. It's official. We are closing down the blog. We will be posting our final podcast soon as our farewell, but will keep up the articles we did as a shrine to our past and for everyone to read in memory of what we did here.

Look forward to one last week of updates. Then, look out for us on YouTube and Facebook- as we change gears and focus on videos and music.

Anime News Update! (Finally...)

2009-07-25T22:17:00.001-04:00

Hello readers, Bunny here. I'm sorry for my absence these past few weeks, however I'm back and it's time to bring you the updates you've come to love. OK, maybe not love...

English dubbed Vampire Knight confirmed

That's right folks, prepare for the screams of delight from millions of fangirls across the nation. Matsuri Hino's popular shojo series Vampire Knight is finally cleared for an English release. Viz has obtained the license, so now we just sit back and wait for the casting list.

Halo Anime also confirmed

Video Games | Halo Legends | Exclusive Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Halo Legends is on its way and previews are available on Xbox Live. The series is a culmination of seven short films made by a team of six different companies (if you include Microsoft).

Ghost in the Shell on The Tonight Show
Last night Conan O'Brien dedicated an entire skit to the process of dubbing anime, and the subject in question was Ghost in the Shell. I just hope they don't promote the production of bobble breast dolls...

Anime Convention Watch!
AnimagiC 09: July 31-August 2. Bonn, Germany. If you're in Germany for that weekend, make a stop at AnimagiC! For our readers who aren't fluent in German, please follow this link for the info. While it looks small, it's got all of the staples every con needs. The only shortage it appears to have is on guests; I don't see any voice actors or production directors, or any guest list for that matter. But if you're a con goer that doesn't put much stock in autograph sessions, then you've got nothing to worry about.

Anime Festival Orlando: July 31-August 2. Orlando, FL. This convention has quite a few interesting events to look forward to, such as Evil Jeopardy and Weakest Geek. Also, along with cosplay contests and video game tournaments, there's also an art contest. Voice actors like Vic Mignogna, Chris Sabot, and several other big names only sweeten the deal.

AnimeLand TuCon: July 31-August 2. Tucson, AZ. A nice, budget free convention at only $35 at the door. The con comes complete with karaoke events and a masquerade ball.

That's all from me today, so I bid you guys a good night. Enjoy the rest of your weekend dear readers!

Gaming News Wrap Up: 7.22.09

2009-07-22T19:44:00.016-04:00

Warcraft movie, meet your director

_{and you thought you were uncomfortable}

From the director of the top weekend grossing movie of all time, Spider man 3, comes the movie about Warcraft.

Dos: God help us all.

Kirby: So, can I expect an emo elf or something?

Signed MJ Playstation could be yours...

for 1.5 million American dollars.

Dos: and it doesn't even include Michael Jackson's Moonwalker.

Kirby: Ah damn, just out of my 1.4 million dollar price range.

The Beatles rock band tracklist includes 25

"Back in the U.S.S.R."
"Can't Buy Me Love"
"Day Tripper"
"Eight Days a Week"
"Get Back"
"Here Comes the Sun"
"I Am the Walrus"
"I Feel Fine"
"I Saw Her Standing There"
"I Want to Hold Your Hand"
"Octopus's Garden"
"Paperback Writer"
"Revolution"
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"
"Taxman"
"Twist and Shout"
"Within You Without You"
"Yellow Submarine"
"With A Little Help From My Friends"
"Birthday"
"I Got a Feeling"
"Dig a Pony"
"Do You Want To Know A Secret"
"I Wanna Be Your Man"
"And Your Bird Can Sing"

Dos: and all we needed was love.

Kirby: I said I wanted a "Revolution" and...well, I got it. Kick ass.

Konami to reveal new game at Comic-con

and its a Metalocalypse game. woot.

Dos: Just hope it can top the Harvey Birdman game.

Kirby: Or, any game from Adult Swim.

Conan the O'Brien makes Nintendo Wii joke

"Experts say the video game industry has been dramatically hurt by the economic downturn, which explains the popularity of the new Nintendo game, Wii Job Interview." -Conan O'Brien

Dos: Well, it has already been released on the DS.

Kirby: Huh? That's a joke...damn, where'd I get my copy then?

The reason why motion plus wasn't available at launch

Shigeru Miyamoto claims the Wii Motion Plus is cutting edge technology.

Dos: Listening to that man talk about technology is like listening to Billy Mays sell home appliances.

Kirby: Are you implying Miyamoto is dead?...but where will I get my Wii Fit need filled?

Balance board, meet Monkey Ball

Dos: Multiplayer might be tough to manage in your living room.

Kirby: ...or manage on your wallet.

Video of the Week

Dos: Just trust me.

Kirby: Dos, what the hell is going on here? No...really.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Gaming News Wrapup: 7/15/09

2009-07-15T22:04:00.002-04:00

This week we've got spoilers, an iPhone game, the Black Wii and more!

The hit Gamecube title hits the iPhone. Joy

Resident Evil 4 was confirmed for the iPhone and will be released at the end of this month, in the tradition of other watered down iPhone ported games.

Dos: ... you're doing it wrong.

Kirby: In other news, the iPhone has been confirmed to be a shitty way for companies to port their fucking games. Also, a bunch of people died somewhere- but the real tragedy is the iPhone thing.

Shaun of Dead meets Left 4 dead.

A mod that will replicate the movie scenes from Shaun of the Dead will be released for Left 4 Dead. It's titled Left 4 Winchester and it's coming to a PC near you.

Dos: In the meantime we've got L4D2 to play.

Kirby: God damn it, Dos- don't you start.

California Anti-Violent game law unconstitutional, still

In May of 2009, California brought to the Supreme Court a law that would act against violent video games. The Supreme court hasn't got back to them but lawyer Robert Corn-Revere has criticized the bill.

Dos: Remember to exercise your right to vote, that is all.

Kirby: On Supreme Court justices, Dos?...

Meet, Black Wii

The Onyx colored version of the Nintendo Wii console will be made available on August 1st in Japan.

Dos: Pretty cool I guess.

Kirby: Pretty cool? God damn that's sexy. I'd give my white Wii up for a black one. Though, I do hear they're slightly bigger.

Spoiler, IMDB reveals Batman: Arkham Asylum villains.

The voice actor information for the characters in Arkham Asylum have been made available.

Dos: God bless you Mark Hamill.

Kirby: And I'm not listed as The Riddler. Ah well, I'll play him in the next Batman movie. You know I'm good for it.

Modern Warfare 2 unboxed]

Modern Warfare 2 Prestige (Collectors) Edition will cost $149 and will come with night vision goggles and the original Call of Duty (with multiplayer via Xbox live/ Playstation Network).

Dos: Looks expensive, put them back.

Kirby: Sadly, the only thing you'll be seeing with those night vision goggles is three feet in front of you illuminated with a green light that's attached to the front.

Dragon Quest 9 considered perfect by Famitsu

The next entry of Dragon Quest has been reviewed. Looks good I hear.

Dos: It might be my next DSi purchase.

Kirby: I heard the Japanese got on Amazon and pulled a Spore on the title, complaining about it being on the DS and sucking and what not. Then again, I have a feeling it was 4-...uh...someone else...

Video of the Week

Dos: This is an old but pretty good one. Brought to you by the guys who did those College University Cartoons.

Kirby: Funny, but it still bugs me that they all kind of look the same. Even the chick looks like a dude.

Gaming News Wrapup: July 8 2009

2009-07-08T21:04:00.013-04:00

Today in gaming History..

New trailer, new game, same ol' Pokemon

A Japenese trailer was released for Pokemon Heart Gold and Soul Silver for the DS. It's scheduled to hit Japan in September and will cost 50 American dollars.

Dos: 50 dollars is pretty freaking pricey for a DS game, a remake at that. Or maybe I just don't know shit about Pokemon.

Kirby: You don't know shit about Pokemon, Dos! It comes with a pedometer thing and is a remake of the BEST. POKEMON. GAME. EVER.

Are you ready to touch Duke?

A 'tap to shoot' port of the original Duke Nukem 3D is coming to a Iphone/touch, near you!

Dos: Who needs an Iphone with Duke Nukem, I've been taping the DSi for a week now and I'm never looking back.

Kirby: I'd rather tap something else. Like a girl. Like Selena Gomez. *sigh*

Could Kid Icarus Wii be in the works?

Miyamoto tells Nintendo Power to wait for Kid Icarus news as he wasn't going to give any details during E3.

Dos: Don't screw this one up Miyamoto, it's one of the few franchises you haven't milked dry already.

Kirby: New info is coming in now it seems. The game has been confirmed by sources to be in development and will include a wing peripheral that you have to strap onto your back and move your arms around to fly in game. Revolutionary stuff here folks.

President says there will be no drop PS3 price cut

Jack Tretton (President of Sony Entertainment of America) says that even under certain pressures, the price of the PS3 will stay at $399.

Dos: Tretton has balls, I like balls.

Kirby: But not Bawls. That shit is nasty.

Touchdown in the next Super Smash?

The creator of No More Heroes (Goichi Suda) wants Travis Touchdown to be featured in the next Super Smash Bros. Suda says he is willing to make a worthy sequel to No More Heroes so that his character will be included in the SSB roster.

Dos: I'm all for new additions to Smash bros but you have to pay to play to run with this crew. What was that shit about No More Heroes moving not appearing again on the Wii?

Kirby: Didn't stop Snake. Of course, Snake is way more badass and known.

Masssachusetts wants you!

Massachusetts is reviewing a bill that will grant tax breaks for video game developers so they can keep on making money in this harsh economic environment.

Dos: You never looked cooler Massachusetts, keep it up guy.

Kirby: First gay marriage, now this? They know how to keep up with the times.

Video of the Week

This weeks video comes to you from the upcoming MMO, Star Wars, The Old Republic.

Dos: I may not go back to WoW after this one.

Kirby: I spent all that money on getting you clean, and you're gonna go back to WoW? That's it- I'm gonna get J Gab to virus up your computers until you vow you won't play again!

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Cancelled Due to Memorial

2009-07-07T00:39:00.001-04:00

Not much news since Michael Jackson took over the entire world today. At least in entertainment. With that, the only news is thus the memorial- and since we for once want to have tastes, we will only live you with a bit of the memorial:

Hopefully the world will be able to move on, and get back into the swing of things now. We all here at the RD send best wishes to the Jackson family in this time of struggle. I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful week.

Gaming News Review: July 1st 2009

2009-07-01T20:18:00.017-04:00

Hi yall, This week we have a lot of Starcraft 2 related news and a bonus mini review! In addition I saw that Street Fighter 4 is 10% on the PC via steam, that is 35 American dollars, nearly half the price you'd pay for the same game on the Playstation 3 and Xbox360. I hear you can even play it in 3d with the right graphics card.

Capcom Classics come to PSP

Capcom classics like Street Fighter, Section Z, and Bionic Commando will be made available to the PSP via the Playstation network on July 2nd.

The PS3 slim, yea.

Sources say the PS3 slim will be out by August.

Starcraft 2 may not support LAN

Blizzard is putting faith into the new Battle.net system, Starcraft 2 will not support LAN. For those of you who want LAN support, there is a online petition, here

Starcraft tech trees sneak peek

For those of you who want a head start on your strategy making.

Kojima to assist next Castlevania

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow will be aided by Kojima productions where needed. So far Kojima has helped design the main characters face.

The fLOw Review

How much do you expect out of a ten dollar game? That’s the question I ask myself when I review the Playstation 3 downloadable game, fLOw, from the ‘that game company’.

I want to get out that this game isn’t very long. It serves as a sort of mediary buffer game in between the other games you might be playing. The idea of the game is that you just go with the flow and relax while playing.

All you’re told to starting out is that you tip the controller to move, press any button to boost, start pauses and another player can join you. After that there is no real instruction by text, you just figure out what is going on. It’s not that hard and finding out is a part of the exploration and fun of the game.

The visuals are great. The design is what drew me to fLOw in the first place and it’s what will bring me back to the game I’m sure. Where there isn’t text, the game has to communicate to the player through graphic representation and in that respect they did succeed because it’s pretty easy to figure out. While we are at it the sound and music work with the visuals harmoniously.

The gameplay is fairly simple. You control a sea creature and your goal is to defeat and or eat all the other organisms you run into as you dive deeper and deeper into the sea. The more you eat the bigger you will grow and you’ll gain more health. Once you complete a level with your character, you unlock a new creature to use that will have a different boosting power. The sixaxis controls take a little to get used to but you should know what you’re doing after the first level.

Overall it’s a enjoyable and relaxing game with great visuals. Most memorable was the stage where I controlled a creature that could poison and slow other creatures down. This required strategy and the reward was great. I could catch and consume another creature instead of chasing them. This interaction really brought me into the whole experience. I was disappointed that it didn’t last very long but it’s a game I could go back and play again. I recommend fLOw to anybody who would enjoy a casual and uniquely stimulating game. An HD television helps too.

You can purchase fLOw for the PS3 and PSP through the Playstation network.

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Week of the Death

2009-06-30T22:07:00.006-04:00

Ya know, some people aren't doing their work on here except for Dos, Bunny and me. J Gab is doing some...but where the hell was Clav last week? I covered for Dos and all but...ehh...I think I need to get these people into gear. Then again, my 'care-o-meter' is at a low point.

On with the news:

Clav Note: I was around. I just had some... preparations to make. Let's call them "Get Well Soon" preparations.

Michael Jackson is dead

^{A tribute song to the King of Pop}

Kirby: I saw so many bad jokes from this, that I won't make one. Besides, we all know in a few months someone will claim he isn't dead.

Clav: Did you hear the one about Farrah Fawcett's dying wish being "God, save the children?"

BILLY MAYS IS DEAD

Kirby: HI BILLY MAYS HERE. ARE YOU TIRED OF DAILY TASKS? TRY MY NEW PRODUCT OXYHEAVEN! ONLY ONE EASY PAYMENT OF YOUR LIFE PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING! CALL NOW!

Clav: I wish Billy Mays was alive to give my DSi more memory so I could actually surf the damn internet.

Farrah Fawcett is dead

Kirby: And now she's out of the headlines because of Michael Jackson. Shucks.

Clav: This seems like the least notable of all last week's deaths. I mean, shit. You know you're not very important when a guy who sells glorified sticky tack beats your ass out as a more VIP death.

Ed McMahon? Yeah, he's dead

Kirby: To take thing a little seriously right now, I do hope he rests in peace. I always thought he was a great guy, and he will surely be missed.

Clav: I have no heart, so I don't care. Mr. McMahon, can you rise from the grave and make Facebook work on my DSi browser? Can you impress me in this way? I didn't think so.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick- not dead- welcome in twins

Kirby: Damn it. We just lost a bunch of celebs, why do you two have to go and bring in more kids that will inevitably be put into another remake of "The Parent Trap"?

Clav: Those will be some seriously ugly Doublemints.

Box Office Numbers: Transformers 2 wins the weekend

Kirby: Man, they must be in robot heaven. If you haven't seen it, you wouldn't get that joke. And I haven't seen it, but still made it...

Clav: Maybe they can make a Transformer that lets me update the blog from my DSi. Or that makes a movie that doesn't suck ass like Transformers 1. They could call him Jazz, and kill him in a suspicious nod at Michael Bay's subtle racism. But not before he fixed my DSi's capabilities.

Your healthy helping of anime for today

2009-06-27T20:54:00.001-04:00

Welcome back to the RD dear readers! It's Bunny once again, and here's hoping that you've all had a good week so far. Hard to beleive that July begins next week...but enough about that, let's get straight into the anime news.

School girls used to attract tourism?
The Prefectural Anime Tourism Investigative Commission for Saitama prefecture in Japan is considering changing the dress code for schools in the local area to attract tourists. Namely, there's a possibility that school uniforms will be replaced with exact duplicates of the uniforms worn by the characters of the insanely popular anime Lucky Star. The decision isn't final yet and isn't the only suggestion brought to the table of attracting more tourists to Saitama. Final decisions won't be made until March next year.

Ok, I understand using a country's strengths to their advantage. Japan's really trying to milk the anime industry which I beleive is a good thing. However, I find myself in a real catch 22 on this one. The anime fan in me can't help but squeal in delight at the thought that public schools might be willing to sport anime cosplay all year long. And I'm sure the kids would be more than happy to wear these uniforms instead of what they have to work with. Honestly, what anime fan would argue with having to go to school in a Lucky Star uniform? None. I certaintly wouldn't.

At the same time, I don't like the idea of dragging kids into becoming tourism gimmicks. I mean come on, you know that if this actually happens you're going to get a couple of creepy 32 year old men stopping little girls on their way to school so that they can take a couple pics of the girls dressed in the anime garb. And no, I really don't think that's a dramatization either. And if not 32 year old men, it's going to be a super hyper 13 year old girl shouting terrible Japanese while she proceeds to "glomp" the poor students. And if you've ever been truly glomped, then you understand it's not as fun as it looks on anime.

On the economic side of things
Sales are still going down, not surprisingly. However the drops are decreasing, which I'm going to take as a good sign. Or I hope it's a good sign anyway.

No more hulu anime on the PS3
It's official, Hulu is blocking streaming access to PS3s. While it's not a devestating blow as of yet, it's an irritating little thing for people who use their PS3s for various purposes. And you can take that as you like.

While it sounds like not everything is being blocked, big names such as FUNimation is refusing to allow their content to be streamed on the console. Bad omen? Possibly. No news as to whether this is a permanent thing or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. So until we do know, you're just going to have to make do with your computers people.

Anime Convention Watch!
Anime Expo: July 2-5. Los Angeles, CA.. It's finally here fellow otaku! The USA's largest anime convention is next weekend! And it looks like they're still allowing pre-regestration on their website. If you're a hard core fan looking for an intense get together, then you've got to try and make it to Anime Expo. There's dozens of famous guests both domestic and flown in straight from Japan, such as the famous musical group Morning Musume. There's also going to be several contests and the event schedule looks packed hour to hour. Pre-registered attendees are also elegible to win prizes, such as DVDs and various plushies. Who doesn't like that?

Japan Expo: July 2-5. Paris, France. That's right, even the French are rockin' out this summer with anime conventions. The home website is all in French, but if any of our English literate readers are by some chance heading to Paris next week, here's some general information for you on this page. While much smaller in comparison to Anime Expo, the manga giants CLAMP are guests of honor. There will also be the traditional contests such as cosplay and video gaming. It'd be nice to spread the convention life across the globe, so I hope that any of our readers who can go, do so.

Anime Overload: July 3-5. Austin, TX. This convention is nice and cheap compared to many others, only $30 for a weekend pass at the door. Pre-registration is done and gone, but as you can see it's plenty affordable. Guests such as the voice actors Greg Ayres and Grelle will be there, along with a few others. Along with the traditional events that every convention has, they're also going to have a mock combat event. So it sounds like you can go show off your moves against fellow fans. Nice.

That's all for today everyone. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and I'll see you next time!

Kirby's Video Game Thoughts: The Conduit, first impressions

2009-06-24T22:44:00.005-04:00

Today I went out and picked up the big Wii game of the summer, The Conduit, came home and ate lunch. Then I sat down and played the game until right about now. But before I gave you my overall first impressions, let's break it down bit by bit.

Graphics

The huge thing people are clamoring for are the graphics in the game. Now, I have to admit- I don't have an HDTV. I still play on a crappy little TV that can't even support component cables. On an old TV like this, I couldn't tell you if it looked like an Xbox 360/PS3 game or not.

In truth, there's little difference in my eyesight from an HD perspective. Up close, graphics are fantastic in the game. When you zoom in, it does take time to focus- and the graphics are just as clear.

But while this is true, the graphics are nothing to gawk at. For a third party title on the Wii, I applaud them - the effort they put into this game shows. But in truth, if you have played an Xbox 360/PS3 game you aren't going to go "Wow, this game looks beautiful." If you're a sole Wii owner, and haven't touched an HD console- you might find this game fairly impressive. But my eyes aren't trained in seeing much of a difference.

AI

The game's AI is...interesting. While in games like Half-Life 2, the enemy automatically attacks if you're seen- for some reason there seems to be trigger points in The Conduit. There's been a handful of times where the AI doesn't attack back and just stands there and takes the pain.

It's fairly easy to kill most enemies, but then there comes a time where it's incredibly awful. Take for instance one area I had to do multiple times because I continued dying. I had mines I had to defuse while enemies shot at me, and no cover to take while defusing them. Basically, I had to try to dodge bullets until the bomb exploded and then start shooting.

Or take where I'm at now. A massive amount of enemies that swarm you. Here's the kicker: most the time they don't attack, but when they do- oh does it hurt. What kills me...well I wish I knew. There's so much going on and no cover for me to easily take that I wind up dead from a random enemy that comes out of no where from behind.

Speaking of enemies, I hate majority of the aliens. Why? Because they're hard as fuck to kill, and some of them don't stop coming until you kill their respawn. And you have to find the respawn, and sometimes you can't get to it. I just killed one of the harder enemies on the level, and guess what? He just respawned and killed me out of nowhere. NOWHERE!

The AI is something that needs work...and if not the AI then...

Environments

Most environments are OK. Many are not friendly for a FPS. At all. A lot of times I was aiming and shooting while crotched and zoomed behind something. My cursor, while on the enemy, still wouldn't shoot him. The cover was nice, but the enemies don't continually shoot like you do. Some just constantly shoot and go after you.

The cover is thus pointless in many situations.

Which is sad, because your health does regenerate like Halo. Just, incredibly slowly. And in this last level, I so far haven't found any health to use before I wind up dead from a random alien gun shot.

One pet peeve I have is the fact that a lot of the environment you can't interact with. Now, you can with some things. Fire extinguishers and random cannisters can explode if shot. You can turn the radio on and change the station, if you find a radio. But that's, so far, the extent of it. And I really just wanted to shoot a computer and see it break. Is that so much to ask for?

Controls

Thank God it has customizable controls. None of the presets worked for me, and after playing Metroid Prime 3- the controller felt incredibly reactive to my movement. I toned it down, change a few things around- and I was good to go.

The only problem I had was a few times when ol' Mr. Sun there decided to go crazy with the Wiimote. And a few times when I went to scratch my nose with my nunchuck and lost a grenade...

Weapons

The weapons of this game are fun to play with, for the most part. Some guns I'd rather pitch into a dumpster than mess with- and some I wish loaded faster or had ammunition I could find more often. The special guns, especially, are awesome to find- but in the end aren't were carrying for more than a round of baddies coming at you.

It's worse when you want the gun to shoot farther, and it doesn't- or you continually miss your target with a strange looking bomb.

And at least, most the time, the grenades are easy to use. Every so often I'll miss my throw and get hit- but regenerating health helps. As long as no alien hits me randomly in the back. And so far, the variety is fairly decent with grenades too.

Easter Eggs

There's some interesting easter eggs in the game that just make me smile. There's also random ass messages, probably related to the story, that I don't understand right now. But I still enjoy running around trying to find them, the random ass rooms with kick ass guns, and the random disc that if you find 10 of in each level (good luck with that) you unlock something.

Problems

By this, I mean technical problems. I had the game glitch on me twice, and it was...weird. Same thing too, where the enemy randomly just stops moving. The first time I did get on video, so I hope to upload it soon. The enemy died while in mid-air and just froze there. Floating in mid-air. The second time, enemy did a similar thing but it froze while it was still alive.

Both times I touched the enemy, and they reacted (one attacking, one falling to the ground) so it's not a game changer. But it's weird.

I can also feel the game chugging along while it's loading, but it's very fast and unexpected. It throws me off a bit to suddenly feel the quick stop, but I'm glad it's a quick stop and not a Red Steel or Half-Life 2 moment where you pause the gameplay and wait for it to load. This happens almost instantaneously and I applaud High Voltage for it.

Overall First Impression

My overall first impression: god damn it, I hate this fuckin' game. Of course- that's because I continually die and can't figure out what's going on until I die another 8 or so times. I think my death count in this level alone is probably close to 20.

So yes, I think this game is one of those games that's hard as fuck. While easy in some places, when the game comes down on you- you better bend over and wait for it to fuck the shit out of you. At least until you get pissed off like I do, call the game shitty, scream cuss words at your TV, and eventually go write up impressions on a blog that has a reader count of only three. If that.

But this game is, more or less, a DC version of Halo for the Wii. No joke. It takes a lot from Halo- health regeneration, it has an enemy that looks similar to a Halo enemy and sounds exactly like it- and it twists it to fit it's own way. I've not yet been online, and I probably won't ever be for longer than a few minutes, but it definitely feels like Halo.

I just wish it had local multiplayer...

Gaming News Review: June 17, 2009

2009-06-17T21:27:00.010-04:00

We're back to the news this week so here is the latest and greatest.

Oblivion and Bioshock Bundle, something for everybody

^{Part of what you've been missing out on...}

Dos: Starting July, you can purchase both The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Bioshock for $30 (PC) and $40 (Xbox360).

Kirby: If you hadn't already, you either just got an Xbox or you live under a fuckin' rock...

NPD: The top PC games for this May!

Dos: And four out of the top ten are Blizzard games (Starcraft and Warcraft (thrice)) and the rest were: The Sims 2, the Fallout Trilogy, Empire: Total War, and Left 4 Dead.

Kirby: Who woulda thunk? Blizzard? Top 10? Noooooo...

Consumer take notice, Madden demo only available if you preorder.

Dos: The new Madden game demo will be made available to those who preordered the game through Gamestop. A watered down version of the demo will be made available to everyone.

Kirby: If you really want a full demo, pop in Madden 09 and play. Look! It's just like Madden '10!

Are you an addicted gamer?

Dos: Is your gaming addiction ruining your life? Would you like to be on MTV? Well here is your chance!

Kirby: My sex addiction is ruining my life. By the fact I'm not getting any! Hey-oh!...God that was lame...

Japanese comedian will game for 24 hours

Dos: That's a pretty serious video game accomplishment if I ever heard one. Which games could you play for 24 hours straight if you needed too?

Kirby: This is no accomplishment, this is me on a good day. Or bad. Take your pick.

More Max Payne 3 details

Dos: Apparently they are using a different voice actor. For more Max Payne details

Kirby: Mark Wahlburg?!!? NOOOOOOOOOO!

Have a big heart?

Dos: Well now you can donate used games to needy children! Follow this link to get started.

Kirby: Dos, this is the RD. When did we ever have a big heart and did something good?

Grasshopper studio working on high profile PS3 title

Dos: Grasshopper was the developer for Killer7 and No More Heroes. Keep an eye on this one folks.

Kirby: Or not. Because ya know, that's probably what you'll do considering the sales figures of the other two games...

Video of the Week

Dos: I kinda want a burrito.

Kirby: The blue version tastes like crappy Hawaiian Punch blue. It's bad. Don't drink it.

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Shorter than this girl I know

2009-06-16T21:34:00.009-04:00

Did anyone like the recaps I tried out last week? I didn't keep them around this week, but I've been experimenting with design and what not. If you did enjoy them or you hate them drop a comment. And not many stories this week, as for one there wasn't much happening and for two Clav complained about it. On with the news:

Clav Note: Irony being that even with this being super short, I still fell asleep in my chair before I could do this. My B. I blame the slow ass Internet.

Letterman v. Palin: Letterman apologizes for joke while protesters say fire him

^{I like how their Facebook inbox has 44 messages, but who the hell is the other douchebag?}

Kirby: Ya know, I don't care who I listen to talk about this because I don't give a shit. I do however think one of the least qualified people to talk about it would be Jeff Foxworthy...

Clav: Oh my God. Americans are now too lazy to even PROTEST. Protesting against shit that you don't care about is one of the oldest American traditions... This is the end.

Captain America returns, Baritone confirmed to be pissed

Kirby: I'll just let Baritone answer this for me: "I guess when Marvel says, 'We have a wealth of stories we can tell with Bucky as Captain America,' it obviously means, 'We're planning to undo this shit A.S.A.P. by making a deal with the Devil.' Fuckin' Satanists." Thanks Tone.

Clav: Shit. I was gonna let Baritone answer this one for me too... Uhh, here's an old "quote" from Baritone from back in the day... "Mmm, Batteries." I feel like that's really poignant now.

Sonny and Cher's daughter going to be their son soon

Kirby: Wait, hold on- Cher is a woman?

Clav: Hey Chaz :: Wink ::

Box office: Hangover still 'hanging' on

Kirby: I hate myself for that pun. So much.

Clav: Oh God. I hate you too. Kirby, please don't do this to our relationship. Please.

Giant robots and conventions oh my

2009-06-13T23:00:00.002-04:00

Hello there readers old and new, welcome back to the RD! Bunny here once again to talk about the goings on of the anime industry. From big projects to anime conventions, the summer is looking pretty bright so far.

GUNDAMs do indeed exist
To commemorate the 30 year anniversary of the GUNDAM anime series, Green Tokyo has built a life sized scale model of a GUNDAM mecha on Odaiba Island in Tokyo. The model is 59 feet tall and will be erect through July and August for the public to see. Sadly, this model is not pilotable yet and will be easy to deconstruct once the viewing period is over. That is, unless the RD's Sketch can get there first and fix that...

The picture you see here is curtesy of the blog Pink Tentacle. Please don't ask me why it's called that. I'd rather not know.

New York Times manga best seller list
So as usual Bleach and Naruto take their usual spots, but is that Yu-Gi-Oh! I see sneaking onto the list? FMA is no surprise because of the new season.

Anime Convention Watch!
Here are some conventions coming up for the otaku that have the time and money to get there!

Anime Mid-Atlantic: June 19-21. It's too late to pre-register, but weekend passes at the door are $57, cheaper passes for one day stays as to be expected. This convention appears to have quite a few respectable guests, including voice actors the Ayres brothers and Chuck Huber. Other guests include officials from FUNimation and webcomic artists. There's going to be several dances throughout the weekend, so I hope you have some sturdy dancing shoes!

Metrocon: June 19-21. If you can't make it to Anime Mid-Atlantic, maybe you can to Florida's largest anime convention! The guest list is pretty big for this one, almost the entire main cast of GUNDAM Wing is going to be there along with several directors and producers of various companies. The events look pretty entertaining as well, including: cosplay chess, dances, and a life sized version of Mario Party. The full event schedule is up on their website, and admission is $55 for the weekend.

Fieldcon: June 26-28. For the otaku who also happen to be outdoor enthusiasts, this con is for you! This con is pre-register only, but it's only $15 and you'd be participating the first ever completely outdoor anime convention in the world. However, if you're under 18 and won't be accompanied by someone 18 or over, you need to contact Anime Punch so that you can attend. Events include the always present cosplay contest, but also a martial arts session and a "flaming sword fight". There's also Hentai Olympics...wait, what?

That's all from me this weekend! Thanks again as always for stopping by, and I'll see you next time.

Sports Update: Futbol Playboy Auctioned Off, Game 4 of NBA Finals, and OchoCinco Craziness

2009-06-11T22:52:00.004-04:00

Reunited and it feels so good. I’m sure you all have forgot, but my name is Old Gregg. I’ve been on a hiatus (more like slacking in my duties) and now I’ve decided to come back (bitched out by Kirby and Clav). Kinda like patching things back together with an ex, after finding out that the grass is not always greener all the other side. Let’s see if the make up sex is great:

Cristiano Ronaldo goes to Real Madrid for $131 Million

*If you've played the game, you realize how insane and awesome this video is*

If most of you live in America, then chances are you have no clue what I’m talking about here. Crisitiano Ronaldo, one of the posterboys for European/World Soccer/Football was traded/transferred from Manchester United FC to Real Madrid FC for a whopping $131 million dollars. To put this in perspective for a non-culturally versed readers, this would be as if Alex Gonzalez was traded from the New York Yankees to the Boston Red Sox.

Real Madrid also acquired football star Kaka from AC Milan for $92 million. I’m sure most of you are saying, “Why do I care about this? I watch MLS Soccer and not EUFA.” Well, turns out that Real Madrid has made agreements with MLS to exhibition against Toronto FC and D.C. United during the summer of this year. Yes, that means that some of you will get to see this powerhouse in motion.

*note: I cannot stand Cristiano Ronaldo. Anyone who knows anything about the guy or has watched him will tell you he is a closet homosexual. No offense to the gay population.*

Game 4 of NBA Finals: Both Teams Suck

*I have love for LeBron, but still this video cracks me up*

Let it be known that I both hate the L.A. Lakers and Orlando Magic. The L.A. Lakers simply because the are the winningest team in the NBA and they have Kobe Bryant and the Orlando Magic because their team is full of douchy thugs (Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu). But for the sake of everything being “right” in the world, I’m pulling for the L.A. Lakers since they actually deserve it out of both of the teams. Not to mention I hate they beat the Cavs. Did I mention that Orlando’s fans are obnoxious. Rival that of Steelers and Cub fans.

L.A. leads the series 2-1 as of right now (12:04am, Friday morning). Let us hope they win in OT tonight. Then we only have to deal with one more game of this abomination of a championship. Come on Kobe, shoot that ball just like that……..oh well you get the idea.

Chad OchoCinco Acts Like An Ass (News to Anyone?)

*Would this shut him up again?*

Earlier today, Chad OchoCinco posted pictures of his three new face tattoos to his twitter page. While the world was agast, he later revealed that they were fake. The three tattoos were of Florida (to the right of his right eye), “OC” in between his eyes, and Dual Crosses to the left of his left eye.

If you are a Bengals fan, you have to be numb to all this already. The guy is a moron. He’s surpassed T.O. on the douchebaggery scale and just is a mental case now. He says people say that he’s a cancer to the team. The fans couldn’t have nailed it any better. No wonder most Bengals fans want his ass out of Cinci. Maybe, he’ll catch some balls this year and maybe give the fans a reason to want his stupid antics here.

The Psychonauts Review (predicting the future)

2009-06-10T01:13:00.000-04:00

In the days of the first Xbox when people were still playing Halo 2, one game in particular stands out four years after its release. I'm talking about a game developed by Double Fine Productions called Psychonauts. Double Fine Productions is currently associated with Brutal Legend, a game featuring the voice and character of Jack Black as 'the world’s greatest roadie' in an adventure of epic proportions. Now, if Psychonauts is any indication Brutal Legend will be awesome. That's why I'm reviewing Psychonauts this week to spread the word for the uninitiated.

Psychonauts is a platformer game that follows the story of Raz, a young cadet at a summer camp for psychic children. Things at the camp go array quickly and it’s up to Raz to explore the camp, and inside the minds of the people there. The story plays a significant role and for good reason. The writing and the voice acting work brilliantly together and there is seldom an unappreciated joke. The story comes together well and is on par with any respected animated TV show. Fans of the old Nickelodeon will appreciate it.

The gameplay is not unlike the 3d Mario games where you explore the over world and you'll come across several levels set in wild variety of locations. You'll visit a cul-de-sac through the eyes of a schizophrenic and a fish inhabited city that you attack as a giant monster. The game encourages you to explore a lot and some of the puzzles require figuring out which item to use where. Think of Monkey Island but with an action adventure sci-fi twist. Exploration is a part of the game that works very well to distract from just running through the story. By collecting imaginary figments in minds for example will rank your character and you will be rewarded with improved psychic powers. There is also a combat system that is varied as you gain the ability to use psychic powers like shooting lasers, shielding, invisibility, levitation, and more that are implemented with each new challenge.

The graphics are certainly not HD quality but they've held up pretty well. It was the PS2/Xbox/Gamecube console generation that produced realistic enough graphics to tell what was going on but character models for the minor characters suffer from booth poor design and poor resolution. Otherwise this game has a great cartoon like style that suites the storytelling like a glove. While I haven’t played Psychonauts on a console it is recommended that you play it with a controller. While using the keyboard you might have to remap the keys to your preference and the key based motion controls sometimes feels clumsy. The overall design navigation of the game is smooth and intuitive. Traveling in the camp is made accessible, all the cut scenes can be skipped which is convenient in some cases where you'll see the same animations over and over, and the item menus are quick and simple to use, so it doesn’t slow the gameplay down. Psychonauts will last you anywhere from 12 to 18 hours which is a decent amount for a platform game. Overall Psychonauts is an entertaining and rewarding title that is as playable today as it was 4 years ago. So if that is any indication to what we can expect from Brutal Legend, I would pay attention to that title.

Psychonauts was released on the Playstation 2 and Xbox in the spring of 2005 than it was later made available on Steam, Xbox Live Marketplace, and on Gametap and can be purchased now for anywhere from 9.99 to 20.00 American dollars.

Brutal Legend is scheduled to be released in October 2009 for the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3.

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Summer hits its stride

2009-06-09T12:23:00.012-04:00

Clav Note: I had to steal somebody's Mac just to be able to do this update. After working since 7 AM until around midnight. Yes, I love you all that much. I will take this much pain for you.

Kirby note: And thanks to Clav's rush nature on a Mac, I had to go back and fix every fuckin' video so that it worked again. This is how much pain I will take...

AI's Adam Lambert waves his hands in front of the closet, confirms he's gay

Rundown: In this month's Rolling Stone, American Idol's runner-up Adam Lambert tells that he's gay. After months of speculation, photos of him in drag and macking on other dudes- he finally comes out and says he didn't want to before so people could see him as a singer and not as a homosexual.

Kirby: Wait, hold on a second. People thought he wasn't gay?

Clav: Called it.

John Travolta skips press for new movie, mourns son still

Rundown: Travolta has skipped doing the press circuit to promote his new movie, citing his family still needs time to mourn the loss of his 16 year old son Jett after the unsuspected death on January 2 this year. He tells his supporters on his official site to support the film The Taking of Pelham 123 and thanks co-star Denzel Washington and others for the promotion of the film.

Kirby: Yeah, I'll definitely go see that movie. Not because of John, but Denzel persuaded me...don't ask how. I'd rather not remember...

Clav: If only he was allowed to use anti-depressants. But Xenu forbids.

Poison front man Bret Michaels doing OK from Tonys incident

Rundown: On Sunday's Tonys show, Bret Michaels was injured by a falling sign that bloodied his lip and fractured his nose. A spokesperson said he was doing fine, but is being careful due to previous injuries and may have to cancel some of his shows.

Kirby: He said Shrek helped him up. I swear, Mike Meyers is just in the wrong place at the wrong time these days.

Clav: When Bret says he's looking for nothing but a good time, he really means he's paying no fucking attention to the giant ass sign about to break his face open.

Death of the Week: Actor David Carridine

^{Yeah, kick his ass David Carridine!}

Rundown: Carridine, famous for TV series "Kung Fu" and his role in Kill Bill, was found dead in a hotel last week- hanging from a rope. His family is urging the FBI to investigate the strange death, but there has been no word from them.

Kirby: If only I could do karate moves like him, I'd be able to fake kick a poor Asian actor in the face too.

Clav: Looks like somebody finally killed B... no, that joke is so Kirby I can't even bring myself to do it.

Angelina Jolie becomes most powerful celebrity, knocking down Oprah

Rundown: Forbes magazine has released its top most famous and most powerful celebrities for 2009. In a formula they created, the magazine uses fame more than fortune- giving Jolie the #1 spot after Oprah had reigned for the last two years.

Kirby: Celebrity Death Match would sure be nice to have right about now.

Clav: Oh yeah... whatever happened to Celebrity Death Match? Can we have, like, RD CELEB DEATH MATCH? Please? I'll say it in LOLCATS for you...

'The Tonight Show' is now hosted by Conan O'Brien

Rundown: After months of waiting, Conan O'Brien is now the official host of 'The Tonight Show' with Jay Leno hosting a new show in the fall and Jimmy Fallon taking over O'Brien's former gig on 'Late Night'.

Kirby: I'm glad they chose Conan, but I mean...why the hell does Jimmy Fallon have a show?

Clav: They say this hearkens back to the days of Johnny Carson, and I know this man. He was a violin man with a slave. You know, from television.

Octuplet mother in talks for TV show, book deal

Rundown: The famous in-vitro mother of eight (or 14 total) has signed a deal to do a reality show and is in talks to do a book deal. The show has not yet been picked up by a network, and no publisher has been confirmed for the book.

Kirby: In other news, every publisher and network has released a joint statement saying they are not interested. Except Fox. They'll be picking up the show sometime next fall.

Clav: The first year of life for the average American child costs around $20,000 dollars. Heh.

'My Name is Earl' could start anew on TBS

Rundown: Surprise cancellation of the show by NBC has brought other networks into talks of a new season. TBS is at the forefront, talking with FOX- who produce the show- of how to financially make it work on a smaller budget. The show has won five Emmys.

Kirby: Yay, now I can finally find out who the real father is of a character that they never explicitly had on the show much anyway and that they decided would be a good way to end the season! Awesome, no- really.

Clav: Remember Arrested Development?

Miley Cyrus dumps underwear model Justin Gaston

Rundown: The 16 year old has apparently dumped her older boyfriend before shooting a movie in Georgia. The two tweeted about tears and goodbyes, before Cyrus said she was 'writing' a song with ex Nick Jonas. And yes, writing was in quotes.

Kirby: She was 'writing' with me this one time...in a dream...

Clav: Remember when Kirby wouldn't pick five thousand stories for me to do at midnight after working since 7 AM?... Me neither. But for fuck's sake, this is Miley Cyrus.

'Colbert Show' goes to Iraq, Colbert gets shaved

Rundown: Stephen Colbert's show decided to stop staging going to Iraq and actually go. His show is being shot in Baghdad amongst American soldiers. In a direct order from President Obama, Colbert had his head shaved by one of the colonels.

Kirby: In other news, Stephen Colbert was recently captured by Iraqi opposition and forced to do a show called "The Iraqi Report" where he...pretty much did what he does now.

Clav: I wonder if they can name something high tech after him over there. Like a goat collar, maybe. Or an tent. Just something.

Box Office weekend: final numbers push The Hangover to win over Up

Kirby: Well, that proves it. People like getting drunk over getting high.

Clav: Snore. I wish that is what I was doing right now. And I wouldn't need these movies to accomplish it.

Friendly reminder: Friday marks day for TV's digital transition

Kirby: And on Friday many old ladies will start to riot in local malls after turning on their TVs and not being able to watch Oprah. (And they said Jolie had power...)

Clav: I have two converter boxes and don't need either. Suckers.

Anime's ups and downs as June begins

2009-06-06T10:21:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone, Bunny here once again to bring to you the anime news you crave! Let's get down to business and see what's going on, shall we?

FUNimation blunders with Phantom 10 streaming
FUNimation once again accidentally releases an anime stream on their website before the intended time. This was already done last month with a fiasco concerning episode 403 of One Piece, which caused the entire series to be pulled off of public sites such as Hulu.com. There hasn't been any confirmations as to whether Phantom 10 will be kept from the American public or meet a similar fate as One Piece. If nothing else, I hope Phantom 10 won't have the same type of replacement anime like One Piece apparantly did...

Note: If you've missed out on the One Piece mishap, you can read about it here.

FUNimation and other idustries feel the sting of the economy
Since we're already discussing good old FUNimation: the anime giant is losing money, pretty much like every other industry in the world today. However, it's faring better than other companies like Gonzo, which faces complete bankrupcy.

Another Porco Rosso film?
Beloved director and manga-ka Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli might draw out a sequel to the charming story of Porco Rosso that came to America back in 1992. It appears that Studio Ghibli is a little afraid to make any confirmations as of yet, or at least not until Miyazaki returns from his trip to Italy. Darn it, I'd like to be able to go to Italy for inspiration!

Anime Expo to premiere first Gurren Lagann film in English sub
Gurren Lagann's full length feature will premiere for the first time in the US with English subtitles at Anime Expo this July. The convention pulled some strings and teamed up with the company Gainax to pull this off. No suprise either; Anime Expo is one of the largest, if not the largest, anime convention in the US. This year the convention is to be held on the weekend of July 4 in Anaheim, California.

Hulu might dish out subscription fees
Crap, another good free website might go down the drain. This is a bit disheartening for anyone that uses the site frequently, especially anime fans who tend to already have the rough task of finding good websites to watch their shows. I can't say that I'm surprised, it's just another kick in the pants revolving around the current times. It's nice to hear that possibly not all of the shows Hulu hosts will require cash to watch, but if News Corp. finds any success with their potential bundle packs, the entire site might become "pay to watch". We'll just have to wait and see on this one.

That's all from me this weekend readers! Thanks as always for dropping buy, and keep up with your anime. See you next time!

Kirby's Video Game Thoughts: E3

2009-06-03T21:10:00.002-04:00

I'm giving Dos the night off since ya know...I've been covering E3 anyways. And his fantastic hair needed a night off. I think him and Clav chilling in Texas must have messed it up.

But tonight, I thought I'd do a simple wrap up of what I thought about the big three's reveals and what I expect is in store. Then I realized, every other damn site on the interwebs is doing that. So why don't I instead, do something completely different. Why don't I be devil's advocate for a minute or two. Let's dive into this with devil horns.

Microsoft

God. This was boring as hell. I mean, think about it. They go in and give us some footage of The Beatles Rock Band. Boring! It's like every other damn year where someone makes an ass of themselves on stage with plastic instruments. And thank you so much for the lovely waving of people involved in the game and the banter of Ringo and Paul (is dead) McCartney. Why don't you tell Paul to spit his fuckin' gum out before going in front of a crowd and pretending to play a guitar?

And then the games, oh lord. Tony Hawk: The Rip Off. If you wanna skate, buy an actual board and learn! You're already doing every thing else with it so why the hell not?!?

Modern Warfare 2, awesome. Give me another FPS on the 360. And one that involves climbing mountains of ice? Thanks, thanks a bunch. And the Final Fantasy game looks like so much fun taking turns and hitting buttons to watch an attack. Yay.

Shadow Complex? What the hell kind of name is that? Thanks Cliffy B (yeah, I said it) now go work on Gears 3 so the fans can shut the fuck up. Joyride? Oh it's free, OK cool. And you can buy shit that makes it actually worthwhile to play? Oh man, that's awesome.

Crackdown 2? Like anyone really cares. You all know the only reason people bought it was for Halo 3 Beta codes. Don't lie to yourself. And hey Left 4 Dead 2- a rehash of a game only a year after it's previous one awesome.

Hey, this Splinter Cell game looks good. Oh, what's that? This is actually hard as fuck to do and the guy playing it has practiced more than you'd think? Fuck that shit then.

Forza 3. Racing. You're really going to get me excited on racing games...*yawn*...Oh yay more Halo! Let the fanboys triumphantly walk around talking about how good it is until enough people say "It wasn't that great" and they all just agree in fear of sounding like a fanboy! Alan Wake, took you long enough. Thanks for the Luigi Mansion style "bring things to death with light" approach, really.

And hey, watching TV and videos and movies on a console! That's revolutionary Microsoft. So is putting Facebook and Twitter statuses on there. I really want to see how my friends play Halo, that's what I wanted the most. And get Felicia Day some damn better writers. Those jokes are horrible...

Metal Gear Solid?!? Oh we're finally getting the fourth-...oh...we're getting a spin-off title. Great...I guess...

Oh that rumored motion sensing camera, cool. Let's see it with a game...huh? There's no actual games?...There's no FPS games? Or anything more than stuff we can do with the EyeToy?...oh hey, this little kid can interact with us...but uh...where are the games that I give a shit about?

Nintendo

OK, last year's E3 was an abomination. It couldn't be worse. It'd be impossible, I mean- GOD DAMN IT THERE'S CAMMIE DUNAWAY...

And she's talking about...Mario. Great, another Mario game. Oh, cool New Super Mario Bros.: Wii. Now I can play a really short game on the Wii with 4 friends as long as they're in the same room!

Wii Fit Plus...aaaand moving right along...oh good, give me some MotionPlus demoing. No Red Steel 2?...OK, that's fine- just show Zel-...oh, Wii Sports Resort first. That makes sense, of course...more mini games...OK now show Zel-...OK, Red Steel 2- cool now demonstra-...no? No video? Alright, let's watch this for some Final Fantasy...looks like the others...Oh Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days...yep, that looks like a shiton of pixelated images...Mario & Luigi! Yay! And...they're inside Bowser...how original...

An old game? Are you finally giving us a Geist sequel that doesn't suck? It's...Golden Sun DS...another RPG...OK that's cool...oh hey, mystery novel? A Hotel Dusk seque-...what the fuck is Women's Murder Club?...

C.O.P....really? We have GTA, do we need a ripoff?

Style...*yawn*...yeah, I'm sleeping through the statistics and DSiWare crap...if I wanted a weak attempt at the iTouch I'd buy one...

Oh Iwata! He's leading up to something big...it's...what the fuck is that?

OK. It's cool. FUCK CAMMIE IS BACK...ugh...Mario talk again? What now? Mario Galaxy 2? Really? What the hell? I am not buying another linear ass game like that piece of shit 1 was...

Oh sweet, finally. 3 hardcore titles from third parties- yes! Things we haven't heard about...oh...just the Conduit and...2 on-rail shooters...OK...

Nintendo can do it too?!?! YAY ZELDA!!! Team Ninja? OK, that's...uh...interesting...oh hey Samus...what the fuck did the do to my Metroid?!?!?!

And where the fuck is Zelda?...

Sony

Great...more talk...let's keep talking about the product and not about the games...Oh finally! Uncharted 2, this should be good...you aren't playing the actual game? Great, pre-rendered bullshit again...

MAG OK...256 players online, cool, cool. And...the guy isn't dying. What the fuck is this shit? He's shot and keeps 100 life. God damn it Sony.

What the hell is up with people yelling for Hannah Montana on the PSP? Seriously? Yeah yeah I get it, we saw the PSP Go. Is it a phone? Nope...nothing new? Awesome- no really. I'm excited, truly. And more shit to buy that isn't games, yay...

What the hell? Gran Turismo...and a guy who talks to a translator who is writing shit down? Are cutbacks this bad?

Yay more Metal Gear...on the PSP...ugh...and Resident Evil on there too? Show us some games we may actually purchase...aand PSP montage...why are people cheering for Hannah Montana?!?!

Home...yeah...wake up me when they're done...huh? More montages? This feels like a damn '80s sports movie...

Yes, Agent sounds cool- let's see a video...there's no video?...ugh...Oh Assassin's Creed 2...you use Leo wha?!? You can't be fuckin' serious. Bullshit. Worst idea ever.

WHAT THE FUCK IS FINAL FANTASY XIV DOING HERE!?!? XIII ISN'T EVEN OUT YET!!!...god damn it...

Motion controller? Looks like a Wii remote...that changes color at the top. Color changing orbs are so revolutionary Sony. OK, now let's see a game where you can move as the character. No not just the sword and shield. Move as a character in a 3D realm...this can't happen can it...?

Oh yay! LittleBigPlanet 2-...no? What the hell is this? A fuckin' racing game?!? I'm tired of the damn Mario Kart rip-offs...

Oh...it's that Ico trailer about a game that we don't know how we'll be playing...and...god damn it...another racing game...

God of War III!!!!11one...took them long enough...his muscles contracting are the only new thing?!? Seriously?...son of a bitch...

Conclusion

This is harder than you think to be negative about everything...I had to put as much spin as I could. I hope you enjoyed it though. Definitely takes a devil's advocate to make things look bad, when in the end no one was the true winner or loser. If anything, gaming has won overall.

Goodnight, from a tired Kirby in the outskirts of LA wishing he was invited to E3...

Kirby's E3 Predictions 09: Sony

2009-06-02T12:30:00.000-04:00

Ooo, two down. One left to go. How much more can we really handle? I'll tell you, a lot more than you think. And we'll still want more. Speculation, rumors, and the like have all floated around- and I'm here to give you my take on what to expect.

So let's dive in, shall we?

Rumors

PSP Go & PS3 Slim

^{Why don't they just make the things like this in the first place?}

Rundown: Pictures of a slimmer PS3 slim hit the web, along with lawyers yelling at Kotaku to take the pictures down. Which do you think they did?

My take: PSP Go is 99.99 repeating, confirmed. But those slim PS3s? Not sure if we'll see them at E3, but they're coming. Eventually.

Konami's exclusive & Metal Gear Solid

Rundown: So that countdown clock was for Raiden, but that doesn't mean we won't see the last of Kojima. Word is that both the PSP and PS3 are getting Metal Gear games, with Snake in them nonetheless, and it all but confirms what we were thinking- this countdown business is getting spoiled before the clock runs out, leading us to believe someone somewhere is torching a house asking for information like Jack Bauer would.

My take: There's got to be someone at Sony asking why so much was leaked and how and who was responsible (and everyone yelling Helmet in the back of their head.) This is going to happen. Let's just keep moving.

Speculation

Price Cut

Rundown: 3 years in, and the price is still somewhat high. could they finally be getting rid of that $400 price mark?

My take: If there is no price cut, the PS3 is out of the race for now with a nice 3rd place. It's late in the console's lifetime, people are getting used to it and want to keep it around. So let's drop the price so more people can buy the damn thing, I mean really.

God of War 3

Rundown: There's even more feet sccurrying around about this one being on the showfloor and demoable. With the weak trailer from last year's E3, Sony is going to push the envelope.

My take: It'll be there. Check the show floor. Say hi to Dude Huge for me while you're there...

Motion controller announced

Rundown: Hey, Nintendo did it. And Microsoft just did it with their new technology they probably dropped too much money into. And Sony sort of did with the SIXAXIS but everyone wanted rumble and the controller wasn't as intuitive.

My take: Not likely. All we have on this end is speculation based on the grand dropping of schematics, filing for tradmeark or what it is.

Predictions

Square Enix shows up with surprise Sony may be the last of the group, but they have biggest advantage. They can crush whatever they want thanks to the last press conference holder. That's why Squeenixdos should should appear of no where, controller in hand, ready to showcase FF XIII: Versus or something along those lines.

More exclusives: Yep. Sony needs these bad, and if you can't get them you make them. It's long enough to have a good PS only-game that I just have to had.

Better integration of Home: The NXE is killing Sony right now. They want to be able to go "yep, look what we did stupid Microsoft!" and then flip them off every time going to work.

New footage from announced games: Uncharted 2, check. God of War, check. Oh and make sure we don't forget to pack the Killzone DLC and what not.

The Money Shot

Final Fantasy VII remamke

Fans have clamored for it, you wanted more and you got it. And now there's talk of a PSN release of it. Yeah, seems nice and all but E3 needs real shit. And real is that remake that was seen years ago. Remember that? Make it until a food fair game.

Kirby's E3 Predictions 09: Nintendo

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah, it's time again. Time for the next installment of my predictions this year. So what's on Nintendo's plate? What can we expect to see? Speculation, rumors, and the like have all floated around- and I'm here to give you my take on what to expect.

So let's dive in, shall we?

Rumors

^{New logos abound}

Rundown: Japanese newspaper Nikkei is reporting Wii Fit Plus, an enhanced sequel to the cas-hit Wii Fit, and a new Mario Bros. game are slated to hit this fall. Add in GAF's comments that someone saw a poster with a CG Luigi & Mario on it- we may have even more proof.

My take: Nikkei has been known to not lie, but in newspaper terms these days you may have to throw out any information you get. On the other hand, there's a friggin' Wii Fit Plus logo registered in Japan. I'd say, pretty much confirmed.

Pikmin 3

Rundown: After Miyamoto announced last year that Pikmin was in production, fans of the game have been rampant wanting an official announcement. With both Pikmin 1 and 2 getting re-releases on the Wii and Captain Olimar being featured in Smash Bros. Brawl could we finally see the game come to it's own terms on Wii? Or could we see a DS game for the series?

My take: I would put money on at least another mention of it, especially if it's on Wii. With the Wii having a somewhat weak lineup from Nintendo, I could see Pikmin 3 coming out of nowhere for it and being released within a few months. As long as Pikmin 2 is out the door by then.

Speculation

Zelda Wii/Kid Icarus Wii/Metroid Dread

Rundown: Nintendo fans have been going wild with what big game Nintendo is going to show. Could we see a true Zelda Wii finally, 5 years after the last console game was announced? Could Kid Icarus finally get the reboot fans have been clamoring for for the last 20 years? Or is the teased Metroid Dread- bringing the series back to its 2D roots- going to finally be shown for the DS?

My take: I would expect one of the series to show up, but maybe not Zelda Wii. Spirit Tracks will definitely be on display, but with the Wii having a somewhat weak line up going into Christmas there's a good chance Nintendo is going to take one of their old IPs and make a new game from it. And if it's not one of these 3, bet your money on StarFox or F-Zero.

Bethesda's mature Wii title

^{Could we be seeing a Fallout for the Wii?}

Rundown: Earlier this year Bethesda's Sean Brennan confirmed they were working on a Wii title that they were going to announce sometime in 2009. Could that sometime finally be E3 2009?

My take: Now is a good time. Bethesda is known for Fallout and with no word from the Microsoft presser earlier today, could they be busy preparing to take the stage with Nintendo? I'd give it some good chances, but in the end they may not be ready and fall short.

Something from Retro Studios

Rundown: Since Metroid Prime 3 came out, the studio has been very hush hush on what they've been hard at work on. Every different game that could come up, has- and even new IPs have shown up in speculation.

My take: Retro is going to announce SOMETHING. They are hard at work, and have been. Whatever it is- mark my words- they will take the stage and show something. High bets on WiiWare.

Predictions

New Hardcore IP: Sakurai said it best in Smash Bros.- there hasn't been many new games from Nintendo since Pikmin. No big iconic characters. There was just a huge gap. Add on to the fact that a GAF member said he heard about a mysterious heavily guarded disc no one knew about at NOA- and it's possible.

More exclusives: Every 84.3 seconds a new Wii or DS game is announced. Most of those games are exclusive. I expect to see more from third parties- just like Microsoft.

Massive Motion Plus Support: With the controller add-on finally making true 1:1 motion, I think there's going to be a nice montage of games that are going to showcase it being used somehow. If they didn't, that'd just be stupid of them.

New footage from announced games: Do you know how many DS games are already friggin' announced? I expect a nice press release of dates games are launching, some hands on with some announced titles, and another montage of games with more official English translations.

The Money Shot

Super Smash Bros. DS

Oh yeah. My far off shot is going to be a Super Smash Bros. game for the DS. Why? We didn't get the N64 one when Brawl came out and it's because work started on this game. The series has yet to take to the portable realm, and now would be as good as time as any. With the DS' huge useerbase and already well implemented WiFi- it's a match made in heaven. Besides, I have a sudden urge to see this game become real.

Kirby's E3 Predictions: Microsoft

2009-06-01T10:37:00.003-04:00

What? Did you think I'd let this go as if it weren't happening? E3 is this week and over the next few days we'll be seeing a lot of information from the big 3 contenders of the video game world. But first let's dive into some speculation, only an hour or so until the live blogs start typing and G4 goes crazy on what Microsoft is going to bring to the Xbox. Speculation, rumors, and the like have all floated around- and I'm here to give you my take on what to expect.

So let's dive in, shall we?

Rumors

Xbox Fluid (motion control camera)

^{Could this be the camera?}

Rundown: Let's start big. The rumor mill went crazy last year, with both Sony and Microsoft supposedly having motion controllers similar to the Wii's ready to announce. People were betting money on it, were almost sure it was going to happen. Then E3 2008 came and gone without either announced. So once again we're given the same old story this time with a twist, Microsoft is announcing a motion control camera called Xbox Fluid that is so accurate it can detect a person pinching.

My take: Microsoft has been wanting a piece of the Wii pie since it debuted in 2006. They've tried hard to gain some of that casual audience, with simple controllers like the Scene It one they really were trying to push it as much as they could. But the technology behind the idea may not exist in a marketable way. The camera may cost too high to get to market, and even if it did would any game use it? I'm not sure you could play Halo with it, unless there's a controller that came along with it. The overall idea seems to fall flat, unless it plans on having games like Sony's EyeToy but more elaborate. And even then, the EyeToy wasn't that successful, was it? So either this thing doesn't exist, isn't ready, or the description is not what people are saying it is.

Konami's exclusive & Metal Gear Solid

Rundown: Rumors began when Konami started a website countdown that ends today at the same time Microsoft's press conference is. Then a Twitter post showed up saying it was Metal Gear Solid 4 + Oxide for the Xbox 360 and that Konami was also announcing another exclusive game no one knew about.

My take: While there is a Metal Gear Solid game, there's a lot more evidence that it's a PSP/PS3 game than it is an Xbox one. Announcing it at the same time Microsoft's press conference is could be Sony's guerrilla warfare. And whether or not Konami is going to announce an exclusive is up in the air, but it's just as likely as any other third party. While MGS4 has always been rumored for the Xbox, the question rises if there's a market for it. There is, of course, as long as the production values are going to be less than what they'd make. And the attitude about MGS4 on the Xbox is here or there with gamers. Besides, what are they going to use as the SIXAXIS that's in the game? Xbox Fluid?

Speculation

Halo: Reach

Rundown: Somehow a forum area got uploaded before it should on Bungie's site that said Halo: Reach. And in book form, there is a Halo: Reach (or more The Fall of Reach) that acts as a prequel to the first game in the series. Pictures of the ability to select it were taken, spread on other forums, and then the site suddenly fixed itself and there was no more Halo: Reach.

My take: Halo already has ODST (or is it OSDT?) coming this year. They released Halo Wars not too long ago (and not many people were excited, were they?) and the series has been chuggin' along. So a prequel to the game announced at E3? I can see it for 2010. ODST needs to have some time to sell itself on the market, and making another Halo game by Christmas could spell disaster for ODST. If they release ODST early enough, though, we could easily see a new Halo installment by December. And if anything, I'd expect some revamp being done because of the attitudes for Halo 3. In other words: not so much hype this time.

Gears of War 3

Rundown: With Gears of 2 already coming out earlier, what's Dude Huge been up to? Another installment in the Gears series could be announced for 2010, possibly ending the series' story or wrapping it up some at least.

My take: Couple this with a new Halo in 2010 and you've got gold my friend. 2010 will give Dude Huge plenty of time to finish up the title, and give Xbox gamers something else to salivate at. It also leaves this Christmas open for whatever else is coming.

Old games to get XBLA treatment

Rundown: Ever played Wolfenstein? Monkey Island? How about Perfect Dark? Tons of speculation has hit with proof that the Xbox is getting older games with HD-tweaks.

My take:I wouldn't doubt it. Games like Perfect Dark and the Killer Instinct series could easily be put on XBLA, like the Banjo games were. And other companies have already benefited from doing it- so I'd expect it. I'd expect it a lot.

Predictions

Killer Instinct: Rare has been teasing a new Killer Instinct for awhile now, and haven't had much released since Banjo. I would expect something from them for the holiday season, if not before, and KI definitely could be that title.

More exclusives: Microsoft is known for buying exclusive titles, so I expect to hear more of what they've bought. My guess is at the least for the new Grand Theft Auto downloadable content to be a timed exclusive. What else though? Could be anything from any company- Assassin's Creed 2 is a good guess. I'd expect to see it there.

Alan Wake: Everyone wants this game, for some reason. I think we'll finally see it in some form, moved along by a ton. But playable version? I'm putting doubts on that.

New footage from announced games: You knew I had to take the easy way out for my last reasonable prediction. But I'll make it harder and say we're going to see Assassin's Creed 2, Splinter Cell, Halo: ODST, Lost Planet 2, and Modern Warfare 2.

The Money Shot

Zune announced like iPod Touch, with ability to play games. My money is on this from afar idea to happen and be announced at E3. This will be their big thing, a new Zune. Yeah, that means it will have the acceleramotor inside it. It will have a touchscreen. It will sync with the Xbox 360, and it will be branded with an Xbox logo. And my bet is that you can play the games on your TV at home with the Zune in hand. Hm...kind of like a motion controller. That's my big bet- so let's see what happens within a couple hours. And expect more guesses tonight and tomorrow for Nintendo and Sony!

What is Real?

2009-05-29T14:07:00.006-04:00

Ello, ello, ello. Having just returned from a fruitful furlough in sunny California, I thought I would present to you some account of the ongoing struggles within the scientific underground.

Look at the top news stories, and what are you presented with? Ida the 'Missing Link' between humans and primates was bought in a backroom deal after sitting in someone's basement since the 80's. The head of the Tunguska Spatial Phenomenon Foundation in Siberia has claimed to have found evidence that a UFO sacrificed itself to save Earth in 1908. However the most prominent story is the unveiling of the National Ignition Facility in California.

I was surprised to find that the facility was designed to ignite nuclear fusion. I have been working with several hundred scientists for the past month on this project, and this is the first time I heard the words nuclear fusion uttered. Ida isn't the missing link but something far more explosive. And that crackpot Russian scientist who claims to have found evidence of a UFO may be more reliable than you think. The Reality you think you know is but the shadow of the things unseen.

To explain what I mean I must first tell you who we are. We, the scientific community, consist of a tight group of high intellectuals who consider the rest of humanity as parents would children. When it is showtime they stick on their best smile and best suit and attempt to explain simply and slowly to the world what is happening. Sometimes parents lie through their teeth.

Children cannot always handle the truth, so the parents will tell them a fiction just to appease inherent curiosity. These intellectuals like myself often have to use fictions because the average brain simply cannot handle the burden of knowledge. So what you see in the news is really nothing more than a fiction to appease public curiosity.

Here is what is really happening. Ida, the fossil is not from this planet. An alien species has been living quietly among us for years, and one prominent leader was shocked to find its own grandfather displayed across the web and television. Diplomatic relations between species have required the high intellects to shut this story down before a serious conflict breaks out.

Concerning the Tugunska event. Here we have a whistleblower trying to uncover our secret world. In fact he is telling the truth. In 1908 the Russians did come in contact with an Alien lifeform and in the decades that followed the relations between the high intellects of this world and the alien species have been amiable and productive. Keeping the public out of their way has been perhaps the greatest challenge. But we soon learned to call all who spotted UFOs to be crackpots, hippies, druggies, and the like. A majority of the general public will disbelieve me because of the success of this particular falsehood.

Now we come to the most interesting part of this underlying reality. A large metallic sphere has been built in a facility in California. This facility covers the ground of three football fields and has been called the National Ignition facility. Just this morning Arnold Schwarzenegger, Diane Feinstein, and Energy Secretary Steven Chu toured the facility promising an industrial revolution sponsored by the efficiency of Nuclear fusion. As I just explained, things are never what they seem.

Whoever said that great minds think alike had little experience with true genius. A great mind thinks only like himself, and no one else. Thus we have much capacity for formulas, ideas, and egotism, but none for humility, generosity, and kindness. While we are not prone to physical violence often we will do whatever it takes when required of us. When we go to war it is only on the most destructive scale. An early example of this resulted in the manhattan project. Now we have this.

Let me describe it for you. It is a massive metallic sphere with a system of mirrors and lasers set up. All of the 192 giant lasers fire at the mirrors which accelerate and energize the beam with every turn. Then all the beams come together at a central point generating enough energy to start a small thermonuclear explosion. What has not been explained to the public is that the massive beam, now created would continue onward in a straight line, and have enough firepower to destroy a planet. Of course this would be useless with the sphere on the ground that is why an outer hull will have to be created and once finished the plans suggest it should be the size of a small moon. We will propel it into orbit and then we should have the most powerful fully operational weapon in the universe. (Insert maniacal laughing fit here).

Sketch, signing off from the secret lab beneath the Dublin pub.

Kirby's note: The views expressed in this editorial are not that of the Review Digest and are clearly only that of Sketch's. Whether or not he is drunk or sober when making these opinions is upon the reader to determine.

Game Review News

2009-05-27T22:33:00.013-04:00

In this weeks video game news...

Big Boss!

and in confirmation news...

GTA: the new expansion

Dos: Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony, will be available this fall via Xbox 360 downloadable content or you can get both GTA expansions on one disk. I'm still waiting on a PS3 announcement.

Kirby: I'm not sure whether or not gay rights activists will be pleased or not. I'll get back to you on that one...

Bioshock 2 confirms release date

Dos: Nov. 3rd, just in time for school. Why are all the best games released in the fall?

Kirby: Because, Dos, they know the summer is the time when everyone is off work and school and has extra time and...wait a minute...why the hell are games released in the fall?!?

Sequel to yet another Half Life mod announced

Dos: If you liked Left 4 Dead, don't forget about this game.

Kirby: What the hell was that Dos? Is that...a...no really, what the hell was that?

Disney announces Johnny Depp RPG

Dos: I think they knew that they weren't filling their potential with the first installment seen above.

Kirby: Johnny Depp RPG? Dos, I see no Edward Scissorhands.

New installments of peripheral instrument games dated

Dos: Fifth chorus, same as the first.

Kirby: Screw guitars. ZagamemnonZ makes me want to play as a DJ...what? there's a DJ Hero game? God damn it...

In bankrupt news...

Major Cutbacks for Bionic Commando developer.

Dos: and the body count rises.

Kirby: ...if only they had a real arm that could grapple things from far away. Then they could totally steal money!

Video of the Week

Dos: If you haven't seen any of the Yahtzee videos, I highly recommend them.

Kirby: *yawn* Dos...Yahtzee was funny at one point. Then I realized his opinions are overrated and the only thing cool was him talking fast. And I can talk fast too- that's why I'm a retired rapper coming back out of retirement like Jay-Z to release an album with a brand new hip hop group...

-Mature Content Warning-

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Summer Blues

2009-05-26T23:19:00.007-04:00

Hey a week into our summer season. Lookin' OK...I guess. Glad Bunny and Okie got their stories up. But I'm not sure...where Clav went. I'm sure he's fine. Happy and fine somewhere out in the world while I'm stuck here at home. He never takes me out anymore...um...on with the news:

Mike Tyson's daughter, Exodus (4), dies in treadmill accident

^{Maybe it was...a good...thing...}

Kirby: I am sincerely sorry for Mike Tyson. Something I thought I would never say.

Clav: So, uhh, that's all kinds of fucked up. Treadmill FTW?

TI reports to Kansas jail for 366 day sentence on weapon charges

Kirby: Up the ass, bend over, you're gonna get it pretty boy- but you can have it any way that you'd like. Yeah, have it any way that'd you like. Yeah!

Clav: I hope it's nothing to drop a couple stacks on asshole stitches. And that's the last time we both make a joke about the same song. I promise.

Rumor: Adam Lambert to become lead singer for Queen

Kirby: Fits. In so many different ways.

Clav: Oh look! Billy Joel is being sued by his old drummer! Did Piano Man even have a drum?

Speaking of, Kris Allen wins American Idol over predicted Lambert

Kirby: Oh wow America finally realized Adam Lambert looks/acts/is a douchebag! Yaaayyyy...

Clav: Everybody knows the only reason he won is because they needed to ensure that Lambert has a successful career. EVERYBODY.

And more talent news, Susan Boyle moves on to the finals of Britain's Got Talent

Kirby: I really am rooting for her to win. Of course, I don't hope she gets what last years winner got.

Clav: Ho got a double chin.

Mel Gibson's uh...girlfriend (?) confirmed to be prego

Kirby: Oksana. Wasn't that the name of a whore in a James Bond movie?

Clav: Octo-Mel could be one of the psycho bosses in Metal Gear: Solid 5- Raiden's Revenge. All they'd have to do is make him less Jew-Hating.

Night at the Museum tops box office, despite Terminator release

Kirby: Warner Bros. (who made Terminator) has stated that they plan to build a time machine and go back in time to stop Ben Stiller from ever being born. God bless you Warner Bros. God bless you.

Clav: Can they also stop the production of Terminator: Salvation? Or maybe just stab a building support through my chest before I go into the theater? Please?

FL Studio: Droppin' Beats and Takin' Names

2009-05-24T09:32:00.005-04:00

Hey guys this is Okeana. I know, great opening line, eh? Anyway, writing critiques aside, this is my first article for The Review Digest and it also happens to be my first non-school blog posting. Awesome! Can we have a party? What...? No funds? …Oh yeah I’m supposed to be writing an article. Might want to get on that. Well, I’ve decided to take up the monumental and not so desired task of covering music for TRD. So I figured I should write about a popular program called FL Studio.

Before I get started, I guess I should tell you guys my musical background so you don’t think I’m unqualified. I started with choir in, like, 1^st grade. Did that for a few years then started playing viola in 4^th grade. In 5^th grade I switched to trumpet, which I played through 8^th grade. Now I play electric guitar and piano. Poorly, but getting better. Last year, I found that I really like writing music. Now that’s my main focus. That’s more than enough about me; I’ve digressed more than enough. Back to what you came here for. I think.

FL Studio In A Nutshell

What IS FL Studio you ask? FL Studio is a digital audio workstation (DAW for short) that allows users to create, mix, edit, and record their own music. And, by the way, FL stands for “Fruity Loops.” WTF? Maybe it’s like an insult you give to another producer. Something like, “Wow, those are some fruity loops you got playin’ there.” But who would say that? Well, whatever. I started using FL Studio in December, 2008. For the mathematically challenged, that’s about 5 months. Oh, I forgot to mention that I’m using FL Studio XXL Producer Edition, version 8.0.2.

When I first started up FL Studio, I was immediately overwhelmed by the screen in front of me. You know the feeling you get when your professor hands out a huge project? The feeling of dread, of not having any idea where to start. That’s the feeling I had. The first thing I noticed was the mixer. I’m sure everyone has at least seen a picture of an actual mixer; they have about a million knobs, switches, and lights.

Next, my eyes moved to the browser on the left side of the screen. Here, users can find the immense selection of instruments, sounds, samples, and effects that FL Studio offers. Personally, I doubt I will ever make use of even half of them. That’s how many sounds there are. Available sounds and instruments range from percussion sounds to guitars to cheesy sounding ‘80s synthesizers. Users can also choose from more serious synthesizers and samplers, such as choirs and orchestral sounds. FL Studio also includes vocal synthesizers. Type in a word or phrase and then customize the voice to your liking. But don’t get too excited about this feature. A word of warning: if you decide to put together a song using vocal synthesizers as a substitute for an actual human singer (or alien, idk) be prepared to be slapped with the amateur label faster than you can say, “Bu--but I can’t sing.”

To the right of the browser is the “step sequencer.” At first, it seemed to be rather confusing. I soon realized that it is one of the most convenient, time saving parts of the program. With the step sequencer, making a catchy beat is child’s play. The step sequencer is also where sounds and instruments are dragged from the browser so that they may be used.

The last thing that I noticed turned out to be one of the most important features of FL Studio: The Playlist. A simple, yet powerful tool, the Playlist allows the musician to create separate patterns and layer them to their liking. For example, I can make one pattern be them bass drum and one pattern as the snare drum. That way I can have one or the other, or both, playing at the same time.

After looking at all of these features, I said to myself, “Where the hell do I start?” That’s when I discovered templates. The template feature allows the user to choose a genre, and in response the program gives the user a set of sounds and instruments that are appropriate for the selected genre. While the number of genres to pick from is limited to only Pop Rock, Hip Hop, House, Breakbeat, and Trance, the template feature provides a base for new users.

Famous Folks

So, who uses FL Studio? Well, besides poor wannabe producers like me, some famous users are 9^th Wonder, Deadmau5 (that’s pronounced Dead mouse), and of course, that Basshunter guy. Oh, and there’s that crappy “rock” band Saving Abel. God. I don’t care if they are saving Abel. Or Cain. They suck. But they use FL Studio and maybe the three people that read this will have heard of them.

Final Thoughts

Overall, FL Studio is a great program that brings the world of electronic music production to a much broader audience. While the program is incredibly overwhelming at first, with time, and reading the manual, you can start to put together the basic components of a song in only a few minutes. And that, my friends, is goddamn amazing.

Personally, I really enjoy using FL Studio. It provides a brand new creative outlet and allows me to put together a complete song, rather than just playing an instrument like guitar or piano. And it feels rather therapeutic to sit and experiment with new melodies and sounds, trying to find that perfect combination.

The unfortunate part about FL Studio, and every other program of its kind, is that without technical knowledge or the will to experiment, musical talent is irrelevant. So many of the advanced features and customizable functions require knowledge of sound waves and how certain settings or numbers affect a sound. This keeps a number of very talented musicians out of the electronic music scene because they just can’t use the programs and don’t want to take the time to learn. Now, if those software guys can make a program like this that is easy to use, as long as you know about music, I think we would see some incredible new stuff.

Until next week! I assure you that, like all recurring media, the quality of my work will be less next time. And every week after that post the quality will continue to diminish in regular intervals until I just start posting links to articles from like Rolling Stones Magazine or something. Seriously. Don’t be surprised.

--Okie out

A check-in with the anime industry

2009-05-23T21:57:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone! Bunny here, hoping that you all have had a good week so far. Let's get right into the anime news, shall we?

Cancellation of Shoujo Beat is official
Unfortunately, here's some bad news for shoujo fans everywhere. Due to circumstances beyond their control, Viz has to shut down publication of the hit magazine. The silver lining here is that it appears that the website will remain in tact to continue delivering the latest news concerning their titles to their fans.

Anime can be a powerful teaching aid
Japan strikes again as the government decides to furthur put their popular anime industry to practical use. What better way to educate people on the wonders of jury duty then by the power of anime?

Though I suppose...if this is what they're watching, I fear for the judicial system.

New York Times' manga best seller list...
Naruto, not surprisingly, claims the top three spots along with spots seven and eight. Though I have to admit that I was taken back when I saw that Return to Labyrinth made the list. The manga series is based off of the 1986 movie Labyrinth, and I wasn't so sure how popular the movie itself was, so I didn't have high hopes for the manga sequel. Glad to see that I'm wrong.

Anime convention watch!
Summer is here, and that means conventions will be popping up all over the country. May's almost over, but for those willing to make a last minute push, here's a couple of conventions that could be worth the trip:

A-Kon: Dallas, TX. May 29-31. A-Kon is one of the oldest continuing anime and gaming conventions in North America, and this year marks its 20th celebration of all things anime. That being said, it looks like this year will be a huge blowout. It's too late to pre-register, but prices at the door aren't that bad. Several big names in the industry are going to be there, and look forward to live performances from a couple J-Rock groups that have been flown in for the occassion. This con prides itself in not just being a hotspot for anime fans, but also being a huge center for several gaming tournaments. And like pretty much every other anime convention, there will be a skit contest, like this one:

GarasuNoShiCon: Perrysburg, OH. May 30-31. Though much smaller in scale compared to A-Kon, admission is absolutely free. That being said, don't expect many famous guests, however there are several events that revolve around learning about the anime industry. Most of the events on their page appear to be more friendly little get togethers where fans just come together to watch their favorite shows. So if you're looking for a less intense get together, this convention could be for you. There's plenty of video game tournaments to expect as well, including: Halo, Guitar Hero, and last but not least: Super Smash Bros.

...I should make sure the rest of the RD team doesn't learn about that...

That's all for anime news from me today. Thanks as always for reading, and I'll see you all next week!

Game News Review 5/20

2009-05-20T21:53:00.009-04:00

Hey guys, here I've got the latest on video game related topics.

Schwarzenegger battling mature content

Governor Schwarzenegger plans to pose 'restriction of mature content sold to minors' legislation to the Supreme Court.

PS1 classic games finally available for download

Games like Metal Gear and Resident Evil on both the PSP and PS3 may be the best idea I've heard this week. In related news, Majora's Mask was released on Virtual Console.

Punchout results are in.

The consensus is that it's pretty good but not great. Baby steps Nintendo, baby steps! Good news is its better then Terminator: Salvation.

Quarantine keeps Dead Rising 2 out of E3

There is no word yet about Batman, Arkham Asylum.

Attention Cheaters!

Microsoft will banhammer your ass.

Video of the Week

Spoiler: Its got a freaking baby griffin.

Today's Daily Wrap Up: sex, death, betrayal, and money

2009-05-19T11:52:00.009-04:00

And...START SUMMER SEASON! That was somewhat anti-climactic. Well, the gang is up and around the world as I sit here with Clav at HQ for the time being. What? Oh, I'm going around with J Gab to help him on his book tour. So look for us in your neighborhood! I'm also going to be working in Okeana's studio on the Zagememnon album this summer. Clav and Dos are going to be kicking it back somewhere...Waco? While there with some of the other crew members they'll be doing the podcasts. I guess if I'm in the neighborhood I'll stop by and do one...or send them some type of update.

Clav Note: Waco.

Anyways, on with the news:

Deaths of the Week: Mark Landon, Michael Landon's son and comedian legend Dom DeLuise

Kirby: So, it isn't the guy on Bonanza that died/ It's his son and everyone is suddenly shocked? I'm more saddened by Dom people. Dom. I'm just proud he didn't die of drugs like most overweight comedians.

Clav: Great. Now that fucking name is gonna be stuck in my head for days. DOMDELUISEDOMDELUISEDOMDELUISE. Thanks for dying, asshole. Ugh.

Star Trek takes number 1 at box office

Kirby: And they went to an incredibly boring place no man has ever gone before.

Clav: What was that about "The French Mistake?" This movie was so boring I paid a hooker to kill me during it just so I would have some entertainment. But I got better.

Kanye in Court: Pleads not guilty to photographer attack

^{This is how Kanye actually acts. He thinks it's hilarious.}

Kirby: I wonder what his reason for not being guilty will be...I have a feeling he's going to say he thought the photographer was a zombie. Just have a feeling.

Clav: Even though I hate Kanye, I still feel dirty that he's going to jail because of a TMZ video... It's like, if Ben Roethlisberger went to jail because of a video submitted by the Jonas Brothers. Just kidding. I wish Ben were dead.

Up and coming rapper Dolla killed outside LA mall

Kirby: Man, may this unknown pop/rap not really a celeb RIP. And hey Akon, if you need a new rapper...ZagamemnonZ is totally the shit.

Clav: 21? Yeah right. This kid ws 15. He was waiting outside that mall for his mom to come pick him up and drive him out to The Olive Garden for his date with a high schooler. Get your license in Hell, punk.

Gibson settles out of court on 'Christ' problems

Kirby: Heh heh heh. I just liked that I could make the title a play on words. Because Gibson is an ass. Nuff said.

Clav: Only "OMG!" on Yahoo! could tag on a divorce note with this article and make it feel completely unrelated.

Selena Gomez spills life in Teen Vogue

Kirby: Hey- she said she wants a guy who isn't an actor! So I have a shot! YES! Selena, remember- I'm in journalism. And not even real journalism! I'm a fuckin' blogger!

Clav: OK. So I didn't read this. And I'm not going to. Kirby, fuck you. And go back to loving Hannah Montana. She's not as ugly as this chick.

Survivor winner Ethan Zohn has stage 2 Hodgkin's disease (aka, cancer)

Kirby: Well let's hope he survives this. I get one pun a month, deal with it.

Clav: Oh God. That pun was almost as bad as lymphatic cancer. But not really. Actually, I kind of feel bad for this guy... So I'm not gonna say that thing that usually kills people... Somebody else do it, so he doesn't die. Like Kirby's dog.

Problems heed progress

2009-05-14T18:09:00.003-04:00

My scanner is out of whack. So here's another hilarious video to watch:

A Week Off Before Summer Season

2009-05-11T23:00:00.003-04:00

Why hello fans. We're taking this week off in order to prepare for summer season. But in the coming days expect some comics from Clav that I'll be posting. They're...interesting.

We've got big plans for the summer season.

Clav and Dos are preparing for a new podcast season- which may feature some of the other RD members. We've got big behind the scenes plans as well- a bold new look to the site is being worked on in order to look more professional. We've got teams working on new short ideas- that will hopefully be filmed this summer. And we've got new staff writers that should be joining our workforce soon.

Oh and this is the official home to the Zagememnonz, our very own British hip hop/rap band. So stay tuned for much more on that.

All coming soon on The Review Digest's Summer Season! But for now enjoy this video that we find offensive, funny, and/or appropriate:

Well...Clav thought it was funny.

Game News Review

2009-05-06T23:28:00.005-04:00

My apologies, I don't have enough energy to post a full review this evening but more news will posted shortly.

Duke Nukem Forever, canceled again?

Rumor has it that the developer for Duke Nukem Forever has had its funding cut. We'll have more on this story as it develops.

Video of the Week

Warning, this video of the week has harsher language then usual.
Recommended for mature audiences only.

Kirby's Top 15 Pokemon (yeah, 15- deal with it bitch)

2009-05-03T23:04:00.002-04:00

A week off means posts like this! YAY! And then Summer season begins. Whatever the fuck that means. But I was having a convo and saw that I should pick my top 5 Pokemon of all time. Then I realized that was impossible and that instead I could do my top 15.

15. Togepi

Listen, I like Togepi because he's a fuckin' egg that will use metronome to kick some ass. But nobody knows it's him doin' it. I mean, c'mon. It's fuckin' Togepi. Who would believe an egg would be doin' metronome? A baby egg nonetheless.

14. Suicune

My dog was actually nicknamed Suicune for a little while before Clav killed it. Or maybe it was the blue dye I had used. Nah, Clav killed it.

13. Piplup

^{God I hate the new voices...but- HEY! Is that Bunny?}

Ya know, years before everyone was adoring penguins I loved them. Passionately. I was making an army to take over the world- with Sketch's help of course- and then National Geographic and FOX shows up. Ruins my plans. At least I can have little Piplup to keep me company.

12. Gallade

Would you fuck with a guy that has swords for hands? I think not. Edward Scissorhands i the closest you'd get, but still. Fuckin' crazy.

11. Flygon

I just enjoy bugs with giant eyes to scare off girls. Sadly, now girls are just in general scared of me. Damn bugs...makin' them scared of me...*mumble*...

10. Espeon

It looks like a cat that would fuck your shit up with its head. Dangerous? Yeah. Bad ass? Definitely.

9. Haunter

I just enjoy the laughter Haunter brings to me. I mean. It's a dead Pokemon! Fuckin' hilarious. Dead! HAHA.

8. Altaria

I've seen what's under the cloud. And it's Altaria kicking your ass. Which is why I love Altaria so.

7. Luxray

An electric lion? Probably dead in real life. A Pokemon version of an electric lion? Most bad ass thing you could ever have. Ever. Besides the top 6 that are more bad ass.

6. Pidgeot

I would not fuck with a bird that looks like Pidgeot. That's the kind of bird that will swoop down and take your baby while you're at the hot dog stand asking if the hot dogs can be topped with hot dogs. You fat ass. Lose some weight.

Seriously, I'm worried about the weight thing.

5. Dragonite

It's a friendly dragon. That will dragonbreath your ass to death. Don't you just love how friendly things are really deadly?

4. Scizor

Metallic bugs. Has awesome scissors for hands (unlike Gallade or scissorshands) that look partially like heads of Trapinch. So we know he Scyther kills a Trapinch in order to evolve but...I mean geez. Just waiting for the moment to kill that Trapinch has got to be a bitch.

3. Umbreon

You fuck with me, I'm gonna kick your ass with my Umbreon. OK? OK. So let's just keep that in mind as we continue here.

2. Squirtle

^{Ash is so stupid. Letting his squirtle go like that!}

OK, nostaligia time: he was my first Pokemon. Ever. And that is why he's number 2. And because he's in Brawl and he kicks ass. He would be number 1 but instead that goes to...

1. Eevee

(There's no video, because they all reek of shit. 12 year old anime lover who doesn't know shit about Pokemon.)

And he can be whatever he likes. I said he can be whatever he likes. Yeah- Firestones on deck, Petron on ice (Glaceon- get it?), we can sand attack all night and baby- you can be whatever you like. I said you whatever you like. Yeaaaah.

So there's my top 15. Any questions? Good. Not that you would question me with Dragonite and Umbreon here standing by. I know- you're amazed at the badassery. Well, be amazed my friend. Be amazed. Just don't touch.

And work on that weight problem. Really. Starting to worry.

We Have To... Something... Podcast

2009-05-01T21:00:00.006-04:00

The final pocast of the Spring 09 season has landed. And it's pretty... epic. With a subtle nod to the worst podcast we ever did, I (Clav) present to you, the finale. Keep your eyes peeled for the collected iTunes album to drop soon. Also, maybe, a summer season...?

WE HAVE TO SOMETHING PODCAST: WAV Version Part 1
WE HAVE TO SOMETHING PODCAST: WAV Version Part 2

WE HAVE TO SOMETHING PODCAST: iTunes Version

Quick and dirty, VG news 4/29

2009-04-29T23:39:00.008-04:00

The RD crew went to a LAN get together last week so that's why there wasn't any news. Given that, I hereby declare this month, LAN awareness month. Now on with what you need to know this week.

Iowa to announce Game Hall of Fame…

I have a feeling Slipknot would approve. They could write a song called Iowa + HDGame = ABAB

kirby: The hall of fame hopes to include famous record holders like Halo4Life23, Murderous87, and old school arcade ones like SEX, ASS, AAA and FUK.

Sale News!

The Killing Floor available for prepurchase…

and its 25% off if you pre purchase now with Steam! It's basically like Unreal engines Left4dead.

kirby: So, a game about infected creatures...and killing them with guns...how original.

The story to anticipated Wii titled revealed…

and lets hope the story isn't as awful as the gameplay. It looks a lot like Metriod, lets hope it plans out half as well.

kirby: "April 19- strange flu like illness sweeps through Washington." Holy crap, they predicted swine flu...that must mean The Conduit is real! Quick- we need to figure out how to beat the aliens before August!

Batman Arkham Asylum PC requirements drop…

and they're not as bad as I thought. You're going to need a least 3 GHz though.

kirby: When did they announce a WWE game featuring Batman?

Assassin’s Creed makes its way on to iPhone…

So buy an iPhone today!

kirby: In other news, Ubisoft is also going to be releasing a flash version of Assassin's Creed. What? That's just the iPhone game? Oh- my mistake.

The Witcher for consoles is canceled (unofficial)…

and becomes another casualty of the poor economy. The Puritans were not available for comment.

kirby: So, a PC game that's sold millions somehow isn't able to afford porting to consoles? Makes perfect sense. No, really.

Video of the Week

I felt this one in my grion, and it felt great.

Baritone: "That's what she said?"

More Batman: Arkham Asylum News & Previews

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Oh, the dead- dead days are coming

2009-04-28T11:10:00.005-04:00

Yep, change is coming. Soon. But today is the season finale of the Daily Wrap Up. Needless to say, next season starts soon. But anyways, on with the news:

Story Links

Bea Arthur, one of the Golden Girls, dead at 86

Prince Charles realizes economy is bad, signs on to do 'Harmony'- an environmental film

Jay Leno out of hospital, no word on swine flu symptoms

Arnold may make appearance in Terminator 4, with digital effects

Aerosmith plays in Hawaii after lawsuit

FHM's world's sexiest woman: Cheryl Cole (huh?)

Times they are a changin'

2009-04-27T10:41:00.003-04:00

Ya know, someone once told me times were changing. Or it was a movie. Or a song. Anyways, we're winding down our semester/season on the blog here and things will be different. We're finalizing plans and next week we'll be taking off.

Meaning, this Saturday will be the season finale of our podcasts- so don't miss it!

I will update probably twice tomorrow. We did a video last week, but ya know...we were all sick and/or busy. So...yeah. Until then.

Boredom knows no bounds

2009-04-25T20:20:00.001-04:00

Hello everyone, Bunny here! I apologize for the lack of updates on my part; things have been busy for everyone on the RD crew as of late, we're human too you know. Anyway, the hazy days of summer are right around the corner, and with that comes the neverending war against that one thing in our lives that always tries to prove its might against its victims: boredom. No matter what hobbies you enjoy or how many resources to said hobbies you have, boredom always seems to try and trump us when we least expect it. The anime industry is no exception. Here's a look at some of the ways anime fans try to cope with boredom.

Fanfiction
Fanfiction has always been an outlet for many an anime fan, and serves as a means to satify many needs. Very often you'll go to websites that host fanfiction where you'll find stories based off of a fan's dislike of an ending from their favorite show, have had an idea that they thought would work with their favorite show, or sometimes it's just to play out their fantasies in regards to their favorite series. In the end, fanfiction has become extremely popular on the internet and continues to grow as a source of entertainment. The art has also been extended to other areas, such as mainstream television and video games.

This is both encouraging and terrifying in my opinion. On the one hand, a fanfiction can serve as a creative outlet for beginning writers, and if they're done well, can actually be entertaining to read. However, several people bash and rip apart the original storylines of several series in the name of creativity that it literally turns my stomach to look at certain story lines. More and more I'm seeing smut (yes I said "smut" ) based on fandoms around the yaoi or yuri end of the spectrum with next to little plot, making the good fanfictions hard to find and makes any otaku wonder if it's worth sorting through the millions of stories to find said few good gems.

And if you don't know what "yaoi" or "yuri" means, you're better off not knowing. Trust me.

AMV (Anime Music Videos)and internet memes

One of the most popular otaku pastimes on the internet, I would say it easily tops fanfiction. Yet just like fanfiction, there's a very wide area of differing AMVs and memes out there that range from outstanding to just out and out disturbing. Many users on websites such as youtube.com have made this hobby an art form in itself. However these otaku are being faced with obstacles such as anime and music companies forcing websites to take down videos and ban users who don't give the proper credit the rightful owners of the content. So yes, otaku aren't immune to legal implications of copyright infringement. However the hobby is kept alive, for the more popular videos that happen to be removed are often downloaded by a fan and meerely reposted.

...for better or for worse.

Man threatens terrorism!

So this weekend a guy in Japan randomly decides to threaten to bomb the birthplace of one Kagami Yoshimizu for the sake of attention. Yoshimizu is creator of the hit series Lucky Star (as shown in the vid above), which has literally captured the hearts of billions of fans worldwide for its own goofy take on the lifestyle of Otaku in today's anime and manga culture. The guy even tried to sound like a professional by not directly telling where he was going to bomb, but gave a "subtle" clue as to his intentions.

Ok, the guy is 22 years old and was bored enough to risk getting himself arrested (and does) just to get some time in the limelight. Something tells me that this guy needs to literally get a life. Granted, this is definitely not a common way that a person deals with boredom, but I'm sure this isn't the only "big news" event that has occured thanks to someone being bored in the anime world. Even if the man wasn't an anime fan, he knew what he was getting into by targeting Lucky Star fans.

In the end, I've learned that boredom is a double edged sword: it can produce amazing works of art, but more often than not it gives off horrendous after-effects. To my fellow otaku out there, I plead with you to keep an eye out on upcoming releases in anime and pray with me that some good titles come out this summer. Thanks again as always for keeping up with the blog dear readers, and I'll see you next time!

Our greatest (VG) accomplishments

2009-04-17T00:16:00.007-04:00

Oh, was I supposed to update? Of course. Well this week I’m taking a break from the news to bring you an article about the joy of video games. This time the theme is the most challenging or in sense, epic personal achievements that us at the RD have made over the years. We even have a special guest talking about his experience and if you’re welcome to talk about your own experiences in the comments section.

Dos: I have to say that I remember a few, what felt like epic accomplishments in my video game career and this was way before Xbox achievements told you just did something awesome.

For me, playing on the hardest difficulty on any game was a an epic process because I had already played through the game at least twice by that point. One particular instance came from the original Call of Duty for the PC on the second part of operation Pegasus. This was the mission where you had to hold the bridge for five minutes while an unlimited amount of troops and tanks spawned advancing on your position. I managed to pass this level by hiding in a trench for the last minute with a sliver of life, pistol whipping any brown shirt that would jump down into it. I remember a similar episode trying to beat the Goldeneye Moonraker level trying to defend the rocket before it went up. I was ten years old sweating bullets with my finger on the laser trigger.

Then there were those challenges that dared you to go the distance and get 100% on a game for a reward that may or may not have been worth it. In my memory I only achieved this with a handful of games:

Grand Theft Auto 3: Every package, every mission, every rampage, every stupid car challenge and still no fourth island! I was upset!

Super Mario 64: 120 stars and at that time it meant something. That was the first time I knew I had accomplished something great.

Sonic Adventure 2 Battle: I heard that I could unlock a 3d recreation of the very first sonic level if I completed every mission with an A. It took me a long time but I did it just to see it with my own eyes.

The Legend of Zelda, Majoras Mask: Every mask. It wasn’t easy but it’s the only way to truly enjoy that game.

Clav: I once beat The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past with no damage taken at all. I had to save often, and restart every so often, but it didn't actually take much effort. I've beaten that game over 250 times. But I've also had it in one form or another for about 15 years. More impressively, I once played the game all the way through, getting every item, without dying or turning the game off. That was a good day. Or, conversely, the day I decided to play videogames less.

Kirby: "Catching 'Em All" in Pokemon Blue (or Red)

Ya know, it's been so long since I played this game. I mean now there's 497, I don't even know what a Piplup is and that it is damn adorable...
But when Pokemon Red/Blue came out, only 150* Pokemon were it. No pre-evolutions, no bullshit evolution for Magneton or Magmar (wtf are they on in Japan?) and the legendaries actually felt legendary.

So collecting all of the 150 looked like one task to bear. I had to find some douche bag with Red (and I couldn't bring my stuff to school, damn school) and trade him stuff. And then I had to get someone to give me a Bulbasaur and a Charmander. And no breeding (can't learn about sex until you wear your hat backwards) so no eggs. I needed a damn Charmander and Bulbasaur to get 'em all.

Needless to say, I think I caught them all. My memory is fuzzy. Togepi was in that game right? Skarmory? Ah, you get the picture. It was difficult, hard, and pain stakingly felt like a bitch.**

*151 because of Mew, the bastert.
**Things Dos's dad says to him every night.

Elliott: I have played many games. I'm having a hard time coming up with any specific examples of difficult accomplishments. I guess the only thing I can think of more recently was on World of Warcraft. The guild I'm in beat 10-man Naxx for the first time a few weeks ago (I was with them in the raid). Not the hardest accomplishment, but it still made us all feel good, because it means that we progressed.

Bunny: An epic moment for me was getting 100% completion in the N64 game Snowboard Kids 2. I was really little, probably around seven I think. And it took forever too! It was one of those games that had only a few mini-games, but those mini games had really hard criteria to meet, an example being "get X amount of points from tricks in one minute!" And often you'd have to do this with the same mini-game multiple times to earn something. So, I remember spending countless hours getting as close to perfect scores as possible to get the extra goodies, and all of the meals I missed as a result. That was before I knew strategy guides or Gamefaqs existed, so I also had to experiment with the game in every possible way to figure out where all the hidden stuff was.

Nothing compared to the final boss though: the finishing race was a match against a little demon kid in iron legs who could shoot bombs at you and run twice as fast as your character could ride down the slope. And every time you hit him with your own weapons (characteristic of this game series: you get to smack your fellow racers with various weaponry), he left nuts and bolts from his artillery onto the race course for you to trip on. And yes, your character would literally trip over them, fall down, and loose sight of the demon kid which meant you were basically defeated.

To this day I'd rank him as one of the most annoying bosses I have ever dealt with thanks to the countless defeats he handed me, I don't think I won until after my 30th shot (something like that). It was the first time I had ever gone through all that for a game…and sadly it has been the only game I've done so. I've gotten lazy with age, ha!

Dos: Admittedly, accomplishing these were sometimes a pain the ass but we look back on them fondly because these were games that we loved with challenges big enough to satisfy our gaming appetite by creating a real interactive experience that we remember to this day. Creating these interactive experiences is what I feel a game should accomplish.

Today's Daily Wrap Up: WTF was Helmet talking about?

2009-04-14T13:02:00.008-04:00

I uh...not sure what Helmet was on yesterday. Must be something Sketch did. Probably because I asked him to. By asked I mean, stole and made that J Gab douche do it. I took the post down though, because it was too psychedelic for my tastes. Damn hippies.

Um...anyways, on with the news:

Simon Cowell may move on after last year on 'Idol'

^{This is so hard to do}

Kirby: Yes, because sitting on your ass and telling people they suck for half a million dollars plus is too much work.

Clav: I'd never seen a man be paid to look constipated and get erections on live national television before I saw American Idol.

Porn star Marilyn Chambers dead at 56, no foul play

Kirby: No foul play? Aw, and I thought she liked it that way.

Clav: Aww, Ron Jeremy thought she was a nice girl. That's just too sweet for words-- which I was unaware Jeremy knew how to form.

Mel Gibson's wife, Robyn, files for divorce

Kirby: Reports are saying it was due to his relationship with a man of undisclosed nature. Some rumors are reporting his initials to be JC, others are simply saying Mel wanted to buttfuck Jesus.

Clav: Does it ever scare the hell out of you to think how crazy Mel Gibson's 10 year old son is going to be?

Miley wins box office (really? who would have thought?!?)

Kirby: While she's at it, why not win a date with Todd Hamilton? And by that I mean, me. Because I had a girl at the gas station today stay inside her car out of fear....so I need someone damn it...

Clav: SPOILER ALERT! That goddamn review ruined the ending of the Miley Cyrus movie for me! Son of a bitch!

Woody Harrelson's excuse for TMZ photographer assault: thought he was a zombie

Kirby: "Listen man, I was in character and thought there was a zombie attacking me and my fam-a-ly. Ya know, he's just lucky...I didn't have a shotgun or a bat. I'd be in jail right now for murder."

Clav: I forgive you for being in Seven Pounds, Woody. Good job. Woody: 2, TMZ: STILL ZERO!

Kanye's assault charges pushed back until May

Kirby: Who cares? Unless he's on trial for killing Carlos Mencia...or George Lopez...either one will do.

Clav: Leave it to Kanye to make September 11th more painful for the nation. As if his music didn't traumatize us enough.

Music producer Phil Spector convicted of Lana Clarkson murder

^{He did this, totally}

Kirby: Finally, they put away someone who helped The Beach Boys...now let's get the rest of 'em.

Clav:Did Kirby just say something we all thought? Huh. First Helmet, now this??

Vampire

2009-04-12T01:45:00.001-04:00

For this week’s review I am going to do a compare piece. Today I sat on my couch and watched Fear Net. As I was going through the list I spotted a movie I hadn’t seen in awhile, Near Dark. If you haven’t seen Near Dark, you really should. It is quite possibly the best vampire movie of the 80’s

Near Dark took the vampire mythology to a whole new level. What it did is make them raw, gritty, and down right vicious like a pack of wolves. The film follows Caleb, played by Adrian Pasdar of Heroes fame, who on a night out on the town meets the girl of his dreams. While they’re out looking at the stars, his female companion bites him. She runs away and he, shocked and confused, heads home only to be taken hostage by the girl’s “family.” Through the film Caleb is faced with tasks in order to join the family and not be left out in the sun.

What makes Near Dark so great is not the story, which is great. It is the vampires and the way they are presented. When you are introduced to them, you see their psychotic nature, but as they go on you almost begin to like them. These vampires are not the aristocratic romantic vampires, but rapid dogs constantly on the hunt. They are not afraid, nor do they hide who they are. And they have personality. Bill Paxton plays one of the vampires, and he is a complete bad ass. Now this would not be a review without pointing out the flaws, which it does have. “SPOILER” In the movie Caleb is cured by a blood transfusion, but they do not explain how that knowledge came about nor how his dad knows how to perform a blood transfusion. It is a minor detail to the movie which is filled with great elements. “SPOILER ENDS” Some will complain about not having a real backstory for the vampires, but there are sections throughout the movie where tidbits are given about their history. And that is enough for me. I don’t need to be explained every little detail. The movie gives you enough to know about the characters to form an opinion about them. Call me crazy but I like to use my imagination. 5 out of 5

As I watched this movie it made me think about how many great vampires movies there are. And you know what, it seems like after the 70’s vampire movies, good ones anyway, are rare. Sure in the 80’s you also had Fright Night and The Lost Boys, but those are the only ones that come to mind and Fright Night was more of a comedy. I sat there and thought about the 90’s. There we had Interview with a Vampire, which took us back to the Aristocratic Romantic Vampire era with a new mythology to explore. It was a good film, but it didn’t have a big bang to it. Francis Ford Coppolla came into the picture with his take on Dracula. Which combined elements of the novel with Nosferatu, and would have been a good take on the story but starred the Keanu Reeves in not his best role to suit, again no real bang to it. There was also the real cheesy but fun Rodriguez/Tarantino film From Dusk Till Dawn. And then it came to mind, John Carpenter’s Vampires.

Vampires is just quite simply a straight up action/horror bad ass movie. James Woods plays Jack Crow, a vampire hunter hired on by the church to hunt. John Carpenter shows off why he is still a legend by giving us a film, where at least for me, is flawless. Not a whole lot of focus is placed on the vampires, as far as character development. Besides the Master, they are really no different then wild wolves. Instead the focus is placed on the hunters. James Woods’ Jack Crow is a sarcastic, witty, and down right brutal hunter who kicks ass and asks questions later. What makes it so different from other films that it earns my pick as best vampire movie of the 90’s is its unwillingness to stay with the status qou. Instead it rebels, and through Jack Crow, presents a vampire movie that really explores the hunter’s with new motive and edge. They are not doctors, high school dropouts, or a loved one reaching out. They are bounty hunters, cowboys, and real desperados. And like Near Dark, it is a well done vampire western. 5 out of 5

As we head into the 21^st century. We start to see a rise into vampire films. Films like the Underworld series, 30 Days 30 Nights, and Let The Right One In. But the film, that I again have to say that really hit things off for me this decade, is The Forsaken.

The Forsaken, like Near Dark and Vampires, is a vampire western. In it we find Sean driving a car cross country for extra cash and to make it to his sister’s wedding. Along the way he picks up a hitchhiker named Nick, who offers to pay for gas along the trip. Sean agrees and they are on there way, and everything seems find until Nick forces Sean to help him save a young girl bitten by a vampire. That is where Sean learns Nick is a hunter in search of the vampire master who is responsible for him being bit himself. Unlike Carpenter’s film, Nick and Sean throughout the movie are borderline between hunter and hunted, with the vampires in the story toying them like a cat with a mouse. The vampires in this film hold resemblance to the Near Dark vampires, in their attitude and appearance. They are rebels on the run, who hunt down their food. But unlike Near Dark, we do not get to know these characters beyond their wild and rapid dog like demeanor. Also these vampires half no fangs, now I know that may sound really weak, but it only serves their brutality. You see they still feed through biting, so it gives them a cannibalistic nature to. The Forsaken is great cause they approach the vampire mythology with a new feel and look that is being lost. 5 out of 5

Now you may have noticed a common thing about these reviews, and that is I compare the vampires in these movies to a pack of wolves, or rapid dogs. That is because that is the nature of monsters and I feel like that is being lost in this genre. Films like Interview with a Vampire and Underworld are great movies that explore the more “human” and logic based side of vampires, but they still are animalistic. That side of vampires is under attack in today’s movies with crap like Twilight plaguing the genre. There have been a lot of films that have put horror fans on edge, but that movie really pushes it. Through films like twilight we see a more romanticized version of vampires that are not scary, nor do they burn in sunlight but sparkle like f**king Tinker Bell. This is not I over exaggerating my case. As we all know Horror remakes are the “in” thing in studios. Recently this past year Near Dark was up next in the remake line, with rumors it might instead become a sequel. Well all that was squashed with Twilight. You see the producers put it on the back burner after all those teenage girls went crazy bought all those tickets. The producers got scared that one, the none horror fans wouldn’t know Near Dark was a remake and instead accuse it ripping off twilight because both involve a teen falling for a vampire. Second they were worried studios would see this and force them to turn Near Dark into a PG-13 teenage girl friendly film. American cinema has been lacking already and it doesn’t need this type of bull crap. Luckily there are other countries out there that seem to understand the horror genre better, with films like Let The Right One In. We can only hope that this phase in film passes, but with Twilight’s sequel Blood Moon coming forward, we may be forced to wait awhile. But there is light on the horizon, with the new remake of Wolfman starring Anthony Hopkins, and the only official sequel to Bram Stoker’s Dracula finally being made, both being R-rated films. Lets hope vampire movies are returned to their rightful place.

PhantomHunter87

A Responsible Gun Owner Podcast

2009-04-11T22:56:00.002-04:00

We had a podcast with ten people last night. I know. I know.

A RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER PODCAST PART I: WAV Version
A RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER PODCAST PART II: WAV Version

A RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER PODCAST: iTunes Version

Sports Update: Car Crash Claims Pitcher's Young Life

2009-04-09T23:06:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone. Long time no see. I'm only going to devote the update to one story this week and unfortunately, it's a sad one.

Nick Adenhart, 22, Dies In Car Crash

It's sad to say that a promising pitcher lost his life early this morning. Nick Adenhart, 22, of the Los Angeles Angels, was killed early Thursday morning in a car crash in Fullerton, California. He was riding with four other people in a Mitsubishi Eclipse as a van blindsided the car, running through a red-light. Two of the passengers died instantly, while Adenhart died later at the University of California, Irvine Medical Center from complications from his injuries. The fourth is in critical condition.

The man that hit them, fled the scene and was later captured. Andrew Thomas Gallo, 22, had had a suspended license and an alcohol level substantially over the legal limit.

What makes this story so sad, minus the young age of Nick, is that Nick was showing major improvement in his pitching. The guy only played a couple of games last year, before having Tommy-Johns surgery. Wednesday night, during his first debut of the season, Adenhart held the Oakland A's to six scoreless innings, seven hits, and a 4-0 lead before he was taken out of the game.

All I can say, as with the rest of America is wow. How can you see something like this coming? Literally only a couple of hours after his first start of the year, he was killed in a car accident. It just doesn't seem fair does it? Do have a young guy, with a promising career, just taken away like that? An event like this does certainly put in check our own mortality. For me, it reminds me of what I have in my life and that it can be taken away at any moment. It's a tough thing to swallow. I'm praying for the family, the A's organization, and all of Major League Baseball.

Video game news update April 7th

2009-04-08T22:27:00.008-04:00

This week we've got the usual news with the special addition of a new weekly video game web video recommendation segment for you to enjoy.

Release News

Demigod goes gold!

Demigod releases for Windows platforms on April 14th. Don't know how good it'll be but you real time strategy people should check it out.

The DSi is out and the reviews are in.

Looks like its arguably not the best DS ever and that is a disappointment. A battery with 10 hours of less charge then its predecessors worries me a great deal.

Sales News

PC sales of the week

Wrath of the Lich King still at number one followed by other RTS's and Brother in Arms Hells Highway at the ten spot. Left 4 Dead tops the Steam charts.

Wtf News

Man finds X in GTA manual

Smuggling drugs in video game boxes..hm.. that's just crazy enough to fail.

Movie News

Bioshock and Shadow of the Colossus to get movies

source and source

Buyer Beware!

Analysts worried over the Wii

Welcome to the party Analysts. The Wii sales roller coaster couldn't last forever, the DS on the other hand... well maybe not.

Video game entertainment

This week it's a Mega Man 2 rap (Mature content warning)

P.S. Star Fox creator doesn't want to make a Wii game and Sam and Max nominated for an Eisner award.

Today's Daily Wrap Up: Short and sweet 'n sour sauce

2009-04-07T21:31:00.005-04:00

I don't know why I named it that. I just did. Kind of pissed off about some things. But we have to make it short today. Clav isn't dying after all, and that means he's just sick and I have to...hold on...he rung that bell again. He of course crashed on the warehouse's couch and refuses to leave. Rat bastard. Still, we must report the news so:

Kumar leaves 'House' for Obama, Yahoo! ruins plot

^{Obama must like White Castle...}

Kirby: I like how the article states at the beginning "Don't read on if you care about the plot"...thanks Yahoo, not that your front page says he kills himself or anything...

Clav: And I thought that Lost was the only show on TV using plot devices lately...

Farrah Fawcett in hospital due to cancer

^{I just love a 70s picture montage with a 60s song...love it...}

Kirby: How many awkward letters can you have in your name and still have it be pronounced correctly?

Clav: I hope she gets well soon.

'Fast & Furious' breaks April & Universal Studio records, takes number 1 at B.O.

^{Go Vin, dance baby dance}

Kirby: Whoa, wait a minute. Vin Diesel was in a movie that people went to again? Did people forget he was in Chronicles of Riddick? Or 'The Pacifier'? I mean c'mon guys...'Babylon A.D.'...come on

Clav: ... Didn't this movie come out ten years ago?

Movie Reviews 09

2009-04-05T19:08:00.007-04:00

Alright I am back with a recap of some movies that have come out for 2009 so far.

First up is: FAST AND FURIOUS

The 4th installment is without a doubt furious (stupid pun intended). Fast and Furious sees Paul Walker and Vin Diesel returning to their respectable roles that really jump started both of their careers. But to take a step back one has to understand the type of film it is. This isn't a thinking movie. It is a fast pace, high octane, action film. The orginal showed a unique look into street racing that had an edge to go with it. With the sequels that edge decreased. 2 fast 2 furious had the fast cars, but story was stereotypical and lacking. The edge begin to lose its place after the first race and slowly dive into more of a city version of Dukes of Hazard. The 3rd took a bigger dive when they tried to mix yakuza, japan's drift racing, and high school drama. It could have been great but the chose to add that last element that, to me atleast, really took away the credibility, keeping in mind the type of film it is.

Fast and Furious returns that edge by returning to the original roots and adding the revenge cliche. The movie stays true to itself and presents some very well done racing scenes. Most critics have come out complaining about the dialogue, but like one critic said you don't go into this film expecting Shakespeare. The dialogue had its weak moments, but for the most part it was kept simple and to the point. The highlight of the movie is to see Vin Diesel back in a role he was born to do. I mean I am glad to see Vin is done doing Disney and back to action, with this movie and his sequel to XXX and Riddick. My only complaint is a plot hole. You see this movie is technically number 3 in the series cause it comes after 2 Fast 2 Furious but before Tokyo Drift. At the end of the second one Paul Walker and Tyrese walk away with drug money to open a garage in Miami, but suddenly in this one he is back in LA in the FBI. The issue is never addressed. In the movie Paul Walker is questioned wether he is a good guy playing a bad guy or a bad guy playing good guy. The thing is in the 2nd he pretty much was a rebel criminal. It is an issue that bothered me a little bit, but I am just going to take it as an excuse to ignore the other sequels. Over all I give the movie 31/2 stars out of 5. A good movie to enjoy with the buddies.

Next up: FANBOYS

Okay if you have not seen Fanboys, when comes out to DVD go see. I got to go see the movie with the film's director and producers about 2 months back and it was a great experience. The movie is about a bunch of Star Wars fans who find out one of their buddies has cancer. As it turns out he may not survive long enough in order to see the premiere of Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. So they decide to sneak in to Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy.

Now this movie has gone through hell in order to be released, and I am glad to see Harvey Wienstein lost the battle. Now there are still some scene in the movie that were placed in that the creators are not the most fond of but for the most part the movie works. The film is essentially a dramedy, and it combines the elements very well. I want to go into details about some of the funnier scenes, like Seth Rogan, the bar scene, or Ray Park, but I don't want to ruin anything. Go see this movie when it hits DVD. 41/2 out 5 stars.

Finally: WATCHMEN

I have to admit, until I heard about the movie I never heard of the Watchmen. After watching it I am ashamed I missed out. This movie is perfect. Do not go into this movie expecting realism over the top or some non stop action film. This is an adult art superhero story that is quite simply amazing. I could not take my eyes off the screen, from the amazing credits sequence to death of my favorite character in the story. This is the best of the genre. I know I am going to get yelled at by the The Dark Knight enthusiast, and I am a huge Batman fan. But Watchmen is another type of superhero movie. It is one that embraced its story and orgins. The Dark Knight was great because it embraced the detective and crime side of the Batman comics. But it has created this effect that apprently all movies have to be completely grounded in realism. It has to be able to happen in real life, and quite frankly that is bullshit. Movies are for the most part fantasy, where anything can happen. There are real stories, but Watchmen was done the way it should be done. It was style with a story that has depth and meaning. For that 5 out of 5 stars.

Alright I know these are kinda of short reviews but felt like I needed to do a blog again. I myself have been busy working on my own script. There is one other film coming out this coming friday that I saw a version of, Dragonball: Evolution. Avoid this movie. If you are a fan you are going to hate and if you are not it isn't anything special. The thing about Dragonball is the fact that the series was only serious during the fight scenes, everything else about the series was tongue in cheek fun. The movie abandons that for a more serious tone and realism. It doesn't go completely into what I call The Dark Knight effect, but it is close. I am not going to give a rating. I will say this Piccolo looks cool, and Emma Rossum is hot. That is as positive I am going to get about it. The story is rushed and complete ignores the original series. With that I am hoping to do more of these reviews here on Sundays, as long as I don't get to busy so until next week.

PhantomHunter87

A Large Vagina Podcast

2009-04-03T13:45:00.004-04:00

We did a Podcast yesterday because I'm leaving Omaha for the weekend. So here it is. It's pretty good, even if it's shorter than most.

Have fun in Omaha without me.

A LARGE VAGINA PODCAST - WAV Version

A LARGE VAGINA PODCAST - iTunes Version

More about the closing...

2009-04-01T23:43:00.003-04:00

I have made a video to tell you guys about the closing. For some reason it's not allowing me to post it. I'll just have to give you the link.

You can find my heart felt video, that also reveals my face- here.

Hope you all had a wonderful day today :-).

Video game news: April 1st

2009-04-01T21:36:00.008-04:00

While the internet is busy scamming you on April 1st I’ve found myself unable and/or not attracted to the prospect of duping TRD’s three readers. So on with the video game news (which is hard to trust on a day like today).

Award News

The Game Audio Network Guild Awards!

Dead Space receives audio of the year. Other awards went to GTA4 for best dialogue, God of War: Chains of Olympus for best handheld audio and a tie between World of Warcraft and Gears of War 2 for best cut-scene audio.

Sales News

Wii games don’t turn profits

Reggie Fils-Aime says that only 16 out of the 486 Wii titles have sold one million copies. The New York Times in turn, reports that 470 Wii titles have not turned a profit.

DSi leads Japanese hardware charts

For the week ending March 22nd, the DSi sold 71,000 units pushing the PSP to second place.

Rumor News

Blizzard not developing for next Xbox

This probably doesn't mean there wont be another Xbox.

FF13 to use all the triples power

I’m putting this in the rumor section because of 100% of the PS3's power is 1/32nd the power of the Large Hadron Collider. Meaning once 32 people play FF13 at the same time, we are fucked.*

Release News

Guitar Hero: Metallica! (Xbox360)

I understand that it’s a puzzle game.

Buyer Beware!

Man Dies on Wii Fit

The cause of death is currently unknown.

Greenpeace reports Nintendo as chief offender to environment

Unrelated to previous story.

*Punch line provided by Kirby

Today's Daily Wrap Up: We're getting back up to speed

2009-04-01T15:20:00.002-04:00

No April Fools here. YouTube was down yesterday when I tried to upload our video. I'll keep this as a placeholder until it uploads.

We have some news as well, but I'll get to that a little later.

Update: Here we go.

As for the news. Well it kind of sucks, and I'm not good at this kind of stuff. But we're closing down come May 5th. Our last podcast will be uploaded sometime next week. Sad day, I know but we had to come to the conclusion. More on the situation when May 5th roles around.

Outrageous fandoms: a double edged sword

2009-03-28T22:30:00.003-04:00

Hello everyone! Bunny here, and I hope our readers (however few they may be) are having a good weekend. I've got a few updates in anime that showcase some long living fandoms that are still continuing in the idustry; be they for better or for worse.

Anime figures built from precious materials
Yes, beleive it or not a $153,000 Hello Kitty doll has been made out of precious gemstones by Swarovski and Sarion. I can't see how this project came about in a world facing recessions all over the map. However apparantly a die hard fan somewhere popped the idea into their heads. Then again, she does look super cute encased in all those shiny diamonds.

This isn't the most expensive toy project either. According to the linked article, the same trade show exhibited a GUNDAM action figure made entirely of platinum in 2007 priced at around $300,000 at the time.

As useless as making this type of merchandise may seem, it does boast a hopeful prospect for the growth of the anime industry. The people currently in power with the fatter wallets than the rest of us are showing interest in anime, giving the industry enough power to continue to grow. Which means that fans all over the world should rest easy: anime won't be leaving us any time soon. Now, whether the rest of us will be able to afford to get it is a different question entirely...

Final Fantasy VII and...My Chemical Romance!?
FFVII Advent Children Complete is hitting Japan April 16. In a nutshell, it's the same movie that came out in 2005, except there's: 30 minutes of bonus footage, a little short about the young boy Denzel, and a new ending theme named "Safe and Sound" performed by both Kyosuke Himuro (who sung "CALLING", the ending theme to the original movie) and Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance as shown in the video linked above. Note: click on "trailor" when the link comes up for the video.

Ok: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! First of all, as much as I love Final Fantasy VII, Advent Children did not need to be expanded on again. How old is FFVII!? I don't see any of the other games in the series getting exploited as much as Cloud's story, and quite frankly it's annoying. Not to mention I already bought the movie when it first came out back in '05, which kind of bummed me out when that tricked out box set with all of the bonus materials in it was released. Now this? I dont' know about anyone else, but I don't like owning multiple copies of the same movie.

And who's bright idea was it to put MCR in the soundtrack? For anyone who cares enough about MCR and their role in this, you can click here: link.

Anime hits iTunes!
Now this is a good thing that I hope continues to grow. For a long time now, actually getting your hands on anime can be, and often is, a hard and expensive thing to do if you did so legally. Yet recently companies such as VIZ and ADV have started putting some of their more requested titles onto iTunes for reasonable prices. Granted, not everyone uses iTunes, but it's a step closer to making anime that much easier for fans to obtain without having to resort to bit torrents or yelling at Youtube for banning full episodes from being uploaded. VIZ leads the way with, of course, Bleach and Naruto. ADV has concentrated more on requested older anime such as Angelic Layer and Saiyuki.

Will this stop people from looking for free anime? Obviously not, but it does open the door for different anime companies to begin looking toward digital media as a means of getting their products to their fans quicker than before. This should also pave the way for making anime easier for everyone to find. That should be enough to make any current anime fan squeel in delight.

Ok everyone, that's all from me for this week. Thanks again for stopping by and I'll catch you next time!

Wednesday Videogame Update

2009-03-25T23:52:00.004-04:00

Dos is pretty lazy. And by that, I mean that when he wants a night off, I take up the cross. Dos is a good man. He's terribly offensive to children, though. Like Pulp Fiction. He'll wine you and dine you, but he won't let you tell him what to do.

Also, none of this has any application to the post at hand. Which is about Nintendo's address at the Game Developer's Conference.

Nintendo Realizes I Need Somewhere To Put All Three Versions Of "Street Fighter II"- Gives Me SD Card Accessibility

Seriously, I have been so pissed off about the Wii storage issue for a long time. Kirby sent me a Valentine that said "I can't store all my love for you" in front of a Wii. I died of a fury aneurysm (but I got better). Nintendo has to be the stupidest company since AIG. If you have loads of kickass DLC, you need a place to put it all. Unfortunately, my meager BULLSHIT MEGS of storage wasn't cutting it, and having to transfer back and forth from my SD card gets old. Giving me the ability to save to, and play from the SD card is the best idea I've heard from Nintendo in a while.

And for the record, I only own Turbo.

Final Fantasy Downloads For VC... But I Already Have Them All. Twice.

Seriously, if you're a sucker, buy some more FF games that you already have. Again. The day Nintendo says "FFVIII is on the VC!" is the day I'll respect them again. But as for now, it's just the same old same old as far as FF titles go. Of course, if you want the plotless shit heap that is FFI at all, then you're a bigger sucker than the working man.

Wait...

New Zelda Trailer. It's A DS Game, So I Didn't Watch It

What? Oh how impressive, another gimmick Zelda game! YEAH! By the way, in the case that this turns out to be another Zelda gimmick game, I called it.

That's all you get. I'm not Dos, so I don't have to perform well. I have job security because my name is Clav, which comes before D in the alphabet.

Gonna go work on the videogame I've been making... It's called ULTIMATE HELMET! And it's as badass as it sounds. It's got waterboarding and everything.

Today, 's Daily Wrap Up: FML

2009-03-24T12:20:00.008-04:00

I had to use it once before it got older than "WASSSSSUUUUUUPPPP?????"...and even older than the jokes that use that term. Plus, it was necessary- considering the blog starts with "Today"...on with the news:

Clav Note: Fuck FML. Seriously. Grow up, move away, and die alone. Then say FML. Otherwise, stop bitching about your minor embarrassments, or totally fabricated bullshit lines, and die anyways. (I have a cold again)

British star Jade Goody (I don't know either) loses cancer battle

^{I don't know what the hell this video is even about...but I like it.}

Kirby: I was actually on a forum where someone suggested this woman was still alive. I'm not making a joke, I just don't know who she was or what to...say...

Clav: Die. I have a cold again.

Robin Williams undergoes heart surgery, turns out well

Kirby: Word is that after the surgery he went down to the children's wing with a red nose on...the children are now being admitted to psychiatrists for PTSD.

Clav: I think it's hilarious how far people will go when celebrities are involved. You'd have to really give me a goodie basket to get me to say nice things about Robin Williams. And by that I mean a glock with which to shoot both myself and him.

Sylvia Plath's son commits suicide, no word on use of oven

Kirby: I'm too afraid to read the story, might wind up entranced by the man's glory- but heed no warning from my lips, for I will say his writing is probably shit.

Clav: If you're a depression-ridden young man, the worst place on Earth to live is near the arctic circle. That's where Sarah Palin lives.

Emma Herming (who are these people?) marries Bruce Willis

Kirby: In other news, more unnamed celebs are dying and marrying known celebs in a hope to garner attention. Sadly, those who died didn't think it all the way through.

Clav: I wish Bruce Willis would whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

Box Office Topper: Nicolas Cage's 'Knowing'

Kirby: Didn't we just talk about him getting married?...

Clav: I remember when Nick Cage was a good actor. I also remember when you LOLDADS was popular.

Lohan at it again: crashes her new Maserati

Kirby: CNN didn't even pick this story up. That's how unimportant it is, guys. That's how fuckin' unimportant Lindsay Lohan is- and if you guys don't get it through your fuckin' skull I swear to fuckin' God...

Clav: Lindsay Lohan: You have an ugly vagina. (I have a cold again)

8th season of '24' to have Sutherland still

^{I don't understand the accents...or...the video...}

Kirby: ...I will rip your fuckin' head off Linsday Lohan. God damn it she pisses me off...

Clav: When Kiefer says that 24 revived his career, he really means to say that it gave him a career to speak of at all.

Anne Hathaway to play Judy Garland in upcoming biography adaptation

Kirby: Great. We've finally ran out of fictional books to adapt and have moved on to...well...biographies...

Clav: Oh man. Anne Hathaway, you are fucking incredibly hot. No jokes here, just me, Anne Hathaway, and a box of tissues... for the runny nose, that is...

Sorry tween girls, Zac Efron drops out of 'Footloose' remake

Kirby: Whose idea was it to remake Footlose in the first place? Actually, don't tell me. I may wind up going to their house and punching them in the face.

Clav: Whose idea was it to remake Footloose in the first place? Actually, dont' tell me. I may wind up going to their house and coughing in their mouth so they can get a cold (again) too.